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It makes me sad that I am making my wife sad. She is afraid I will seek a divorce. She is afraid of being alone. She is afraid that she cannot take care of herself. I want to tell her things to make her feel better. However, that is exactly what got me into this situation to begin with so I refuse to make that mistake again.
My wife is basically a good person, but she is very, very needy. She needs constant reassurance and is jealous of everything. She also has a habit of using guilt the way a marine uses an AK-47. On the day I told her that I wasn't happy and would no longer say things just to tell her what she wanted to hear, she wrote on her calander, "The day my world ended" and left it open on the desk for me to see.
She has a flair for the dramatic and subtlety is not one of her strengths. She has invited me to read her diary to read about all the ways I make her unhappy. I refused.
In the next breath she will claim that I make her happy despite the fact that she cries herself to sleep at times and has tried suicide on several occassions. The fact is that I have tried to make her happy, but it hasn't worked. You can't fake love. I know that now that I have found love.
I asked my wife, "Don't you want me to be happy?" She replied, "I want you to be happy with me." She just doesn't get it. |
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Posted by HungryHeart on 2008-06-29 23:41:27 | Rating: | Views: 75
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A few females are like this. My ex was a big mom's girl. After 11 years of suffering with her she knew we will divorce. It was the best thing for me but she is still in her mom's and i am here in China. She did not think it would happen. She made me very miserable yet in the end it was her that ended up miserable.
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Posted by norm4u2
on 2008-06-30 00:29:48
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You are right...love can't be faked. And knowing this is precisely what is hurting your wife so much.
I sense that she must love you A LOT and she cannot stand the thought of being without you. She knows you don't love her...and naturally, it hurts her.
However, back to the same point, love can't be faked. You need to do what your heart tells you to do. You deserve love and be loved too...and not be tied down to someone for pity.
Good luck!
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Posted by Cecy24
on 2008-06-30 11:16:35
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HH: given recent events I envy your strength
My wife is a version of what I see in your posts is your wife. But the happiness line is one I have heard alot.
Difference is I think I may be holding on longer than I should to her for amny of the fears that your wife has. I am a person that can not be alone well.
As I said I envy your strength
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Posted by whiteknight
on 2008-06-30 12:59:01
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Staying in this situation is keeping the fire blazing. The healthy, and responsible thing is for both of you to go your seperate ways. I hope you find the happiness you long for, as i hope your wife does as well. I hope she can get the help she truly needs, and remember you are a good person, but it's time to stop pretending. Now is the time to face reality,and what lies ahead, whatever that may be. Trust yourself, and know that your wife has her daughter, a grandchild. she is not alone. Do not let words stop you. Live life, and take risks. But don't let guilt stop you, and your wife from moving on.
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Posted by pixierose
on 2008-06-30 15:04:59
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it must be so hard on all of you, seems no one is happy with the situation
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Posted by roe
on 2008-07-05 00:18:16
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Maybe you picked the wrong person to be with. I've never married before so how would I know. I only know what's most obvious to me and I know that a divorce maybe neccesary if you tried absolutly everything to make her hapy. If you want to stay with her then that's 100% up to you.
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Posted by Jose007
on 2008-07-08 00:44:40
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