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That doesn't apply to me!

I seem to have become a blogging bishop! My colleague, Bishop Alastair Redfern has undertaken a daily blog from the Lambeth Conference (go to www.thoughts.com/derbyatlambeth ) and when I submitted a comment in response to a blog that he posted after the opening Eucharist of the Conference in Canterbury Cathedral on Sunday I found that I could get myself set up blogging as well. So I have - but I wonder if I shall manage Bishop Alastair's faithfulness with a daily post.

The Conference is huge and there are complicated systems to organise us all - more cynically one may say to control us all. It's necessary and it's important but it's also irksome. I don't want to be just one of a crowd, herded around and processed. I want to be me, an individual, and that means that there is an urge in me - as in every other member of the Conference (and the Spouses' Conference to, I guess) - to rebel, to go my own way. I find I have a need to say - of some petty rule or custom or system - "That doesn't apply to me", that I must leave the Big Top by the door we're not supposed to use, or walk back from the Cathedral rather than take the bus, or use my own car for a journey ... whatever it may be. These are the little acts of individuality by which we assert our identity.

Maybe bishops are naturally people with big egos - or perhaps the ego of a bishop just grows, at least if he or she isn't very careful. So maybe this instinct to rebel, to stand out from the crowd, is especially apparent in a gathering such as this where many hundreds of bishops are drawn together. It's certainly interesting to see men (mainly) who are very used to being both powerful and pivotal in most environments that they occupy being placed in a process that they do not control and given a status that means they are far from being singled out.

On the whole, rebellions about little things like where or when to eat or not attending the daily music rehearsal after Evening Prayer probably aren't very important but it could be a dangerous habit to get into. When we say "That doesn't apply to me" about the pleas we have heard about confidentiality or about not pre-judging the process or engaging fully in the Bible Studies and Indaba groups, then there are serious consequences. The ego is important and so is the ability to make effective judgements and to trust them - but there is an essential humility and patience that goes with being part of a Conference like this. And if enough of us suppress or deny that - and allow to go unchecked the egotistical instinct "That doesn't apply to me" - then it will be the worse for the Conference and the Communion.

Posted by HumphreySouthern on 2008-07-23 18:04:53 | Rating: