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| Strength is Something You Choose
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My daughter is a HUGE Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus fan. And since she is only six, she has no clue to the drama that the media has created about photos of her. Needless to say, we listen to A LOT of her music. One of her songs is a duet with her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus. It's called "I Learned From You". Part of the lyrics are "strength is something you choose". As an Army wife, I agree. I choose to be strong.
Last year while my daughter was in kindergarten, her teacher said to me that she was amazed at how positive I was and that I needed to talk to other Army wives about staying upbeat. I laughed and said, "You don't see me crying in the shower". But she got me to thinking about the other wives that I've met that are not positive. During the whole deployment, they just whine and complain. The 'ole "whoa is me" thing. Fortunately for me, these women tend not to be in my close network of friends. You know the phrase "misery loves company". And I am not miserable! And this is my way of talking to other Army/Military spouses that are down about their spouses being away.
First of all, if you have children, you need to be strong for them. If they see you crying and sad, then they are going to be crying and sad. I'm not saying that you have to hide you feelings. My kids have seen me tear up at something sad on the news, a photo or a song. That's normal and a good time to explain that you miss Daddy/Mommy. I just don't think it's okay to be crying all the time. When I have the need to cry, it happens in the shower or in my pillow.
If you don't have children, do you really want to be miserable all the time? I often think how my attitude and feelings affects my husband's mission. I want him to be focused on his job. Because if he's worried about me at home because I cry every time I speak or write to him, then he can't stay focused. And that can be dangerous for him if he is in a war zone.
And I also need to remind people that I knew that my husband was a soldier when I married him. I knew that he could leave me from time to time. Now I'm a pre 9/11 bride, so 12-15 month deployments wasn't even heard of then. But if you married after 9/11, then you should have had an idea of what was coming. No one said this was going to be easy.
Whether "strength is something you choose" or the pity party is your plan, remember that it is men and women, like our spouses, that gave us the ability to say what we want when we want. Let's try to stay as strong as we can so that we can be "Army Strong" for our soldiers!
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