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| Its better to say too much
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then never to say what you need to say again...
I realize how superficial my blog must look. I write about my poor pathetic feelings and lost relationships. You'd think with a master's degree in English, I'd be able to come up with something more...shall we say, "challenging" to talk aobut.
But whether I want to admit it or not, relationships take up a huuuuuge portion of my life. Not just romantic relationships, but relationships in general. I guess they do for everyone. I think that might be part of the reason why I left academia--why I didn't just plow through and get my doctorate. Academics place very little value on human relationships. They are married to their books, and I could only do that for so long. I never fit in with that crowd anyway. I'd walk in with the latest issue of Vogue and start talking about makeup and they'd look at me like, "How in the hell did they let YOU into the graduate program?" I swear to God, nothing frightens a woman clad in courderoy and flannel more than a fashion magazine.
I'm trying not to sound too much like Elle Woods, but I don't see why you can't have a brain AND enjoy putting on eyeliner. Why do I have to carry a briefcase and support a pack a day habit? Of course, that inner circle is just like any other inner circle that exists--they are exclusive and if you don't fit in...well, they're glad. That's just one more person they can make to feel small. Because academics don't fit in anywhere else in the world and it makes them feel good to be exclusive.
It makes everybody feel good to be exclusive.
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Posted by HotMess on 2008-02-19 09:40:51 | Rating: | Views: 106
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i am a literal hermit, and it does NOT make me feel good to be exclusive. it is crushing, nasty and stupid. i will not be afraid to feel (like the academics). but i will not pretend to be comfortable with people either. people can be monstrous. and monsters can be people-ish. thank you for not being too exclusive to share.
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Posted by AllThingsBuck
on 2008-02-19 10:01:52
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Great post... we all feel the same (few admit it)... 'fitting in' and not fitting in is a fact of life... I've tried being both urbanite and recluse... don't care for either, but please Lord, please! never let me be a socialite!
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Posted by wlamebull
on 2008-02-19 10:59:50
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I am looking at the pink words and the first thing that came to mind was Legally Blonde!:D Too funny!!;P
I kinda sadly maybe gave up on academics a lil sooner than you. I agree that it had lil impact on what mattered more to me...relationships and life lessons(not book lessons). All my strengths and talents cannot be honed in a classroom. There is no class for what good I can do this world other than the world itself. I didn't become a good artist from something someone taught me in a classroom. I learned by example and from personal insights. And, I am still learning with a long way to go before I am anywhere near comic book quality.
But, now that I am not in school...I AM experiencing and learning things....socializing ALOT more than I ever did during those years. But, I still have no friends or relationships to speak of! I am less close to my family and even more complicated/edgy in the mind.
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Posted by brainstormer
on 2008-02-19 22:16:57
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