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Do You Fart In Bed?????
(IF THIS STORY DOESN'T MAKE YOU CRY FROM LAUGHING SO HARD, LET ME KNOW AND I'LL PRAY FOR YOU.)

THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS.

THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR.

EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T.STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.

THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE
THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS AND NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PAR TS AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER.

SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPAN TS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS

SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRE TT Y GOOD..

ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWSTAIRS IN HIS
BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATT ER.

HE SAID, 'HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT.' 'ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU'.

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?' ASKED HIS WIFE.

'WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED.'

BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN.'
Posted by Hollis on 2008-03-17 19:18:47 | Rating: | Views: 114


Comments


Posted by
pitapie50
on 2008-03-17 19:27:55
 
Lmao! Too funny!
 
 

Posted by
Hollis
on 2008-03-17 19:35:55
 
PITAPIE,
WASN'T THAT JUST THE FUNNIEST STORY EVER????I CAN SEE MYSELF DOING THAT TO MY HUBBY.......
 
 

Posted by
Nard2145
on 2008-03-17 21:17:32
 
That is just to funny hahahahahaha LOL that's truly funny
 
 

Posted by
Hollis
on 2008-03-17 21:48:06
 
Watch out Nard, Someday this may happen to someone you know...Tehe...
 
 

Posted by
whiteknight
on 2008-03-18 07:30:41
 
THAT IS GREAT
 
 

Posted by
lastblastkl
on 2008-03-18 08:34:46
 
lmao omg that is hysterical!!!!!!!!
 
 

Posted by
chebtastic1
on 2008-03-18 08:47:28
 
Hehehehhehehehehehehehhehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehe hehehehehehe......xxxxx
 
 

Posted by
zypvashna
on 2008-03-18 17:18:38
 
love the ending......hilarious!
 
 

Posted by
overthehillandfaraway
on 2008-03-20 19:07:46
 
We are both laughing hysterically at the thought of the inners going back in!
 
 

Posted by
Hollis
on 2008-03-22 09:16:47
 
wk,
So glad you enjoyed this..It is with great pleasure to share some laughs with you....
 
 

Posted by
Hollis
on 2008-03-22 09:18:31
 
lb,
Every time we let a little fart pass thru our shorts, we will think of this huh????Oh no, we will be walking around holding our butt cheeks tighter with every step we take...hahahahahaha....
 
 

Posted by
Hollis
on 2008-03-22 09:19:38
 
cheb,
Hope the laughter will continue....
Blessings friend.
 
 

Posted by
Hollis
on 2008-03-22 09:21:03
 
zyp,
Great to have a new face here at my little world..Thanks for stoppping and I hope laughter fills your heart every day...Blessing to you.
 
 

Posted by
Hollis
on 2008-03-22 09:23:47
 
over the hill,
I know about thinking of the last part...I told this story at work and I almost couldn't get it all out thinking about the last part.....I never thought of Vaseline like that before..I use it only to remove my eye make-up...hahaha...
 
 


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Hollis
Smallville,, Indiana, United States

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