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| Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls...
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Codependence and interdependence are two very different dynamics. Codependence is about giving away power over our self-esteem. Taking our self definition and self-worth from outside or external sources is dysfunctional because it causes us to give power over how we feel about ourselves to people and forces which we cannot control. Any time that we give power over our self-esteem to something outside of ourselves we are making that person or thing our higher power. We are worshiping false gods.
If my self-esteem is based on people, places, and things; money, property, and prestige; looks, talent, intelligence; then I am set up to be a victim. People will not always do what I want them too; property can be destroyed by an earthquake or flood or fire; money can disappear in a stock market crash or bad investment; looks change as I get older. Everything changes. All outside or external conditions are temporary.
That is why it is so important to get in touch with our Spiritual connection. To start realizing that we have worth because we are children of God. That we are all part of the Eternal ONENESS that is the God Force/Goddess Energy /Great Spirit. We are Spiritual beings having a human experience our worth as beings is not dependent upon any outer or external condition. We are Unconditionally Loved and we always have been.
The more we can start owning the Truth of who we really are and integrating it into our relationship with ourselves, the more we can enjoy this human experience that we are having. Then we can start learning how to be interdependent how to give power away in conscious, healthy ways because our self-worth is no longer dependent on outside sources.
Interdependence is about making allies, forming partnerships. It is about forming connections with other beings. Interdependence means that we give someone else some power over our welfare and our feelings. Anytime we care about somebody or something we give away some power over our feelings. It is impossible to Love without giving away some power. When we choose to Love someone (or thing a pet, a car, anything) we are giving them the power to make us happy we cannot do that without also giving them the power to hurt us or cause us to feel angry or scared.
In order to live we need to be interdependent. We cannot participate in life without giving away some power over our feelings and our welfare. I am not talking here just about people. If we put money in a bank we are giving some power over our feelings and welfare to that bank. If we have a car we have a dependence on it and will have feelings if it something happens to it.
If we live in society we have to be interdependent to some extent and give some power away. The key is to be conscious in our choices and own responsibility for the consequences.
The way to healthy interdependence is to be able to see things clearly to see people, situations, life dynamics and most of all ourselves clearly. If we are not working on healing our childhood wounds and changing our childhood programming then we cannot begin to see ourselves clearly let alone anything else in life.
The disease of Codependence causes us to keep repeating patterns that are familiar. So we pick untrustworthy people to trust, undependable people to depend on, unavailable people to love. By healing our emotional wounds and changing our intellectual programming we can start to practice discernment in our choices so that we can change our patterns and learn to trust ourselves.
As we develop healthy self-esteem based on knowing that the Force is with us and Loves us, then we can consciously take the risk of Loving, of being interdependent, without buying into the belief that the behavior of others determines our self-worth. We will have feelings we will get hurt, we will be scared, we will get angry because those feelings are an unavoidable part of life. Feelings are a part of the human experience that we came here to learn about they cannot be avoided. And trying to avoid them only causes us to miss out on the Joy and Love and happiness that can also be a part of the human experience.
Copyright 1997 by Robert Burney
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Posted by Hollis on 2008-02-05 11:11:45 | Rating: | Views: 152
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So true Hollis God Bless
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Posted by greensky
on 2008-02-05 16:30:36
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Nice post.
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Posted by scotslad60
on 2008-02-06 18:13:22
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Greensky,
Thanks for checking in...Hope this helps some that may need a little wake up call.....
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Posted by Hollis
on 2008-02-06 22:23:13
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scots,
Thank you for always stopping by and leaving a sweet comment. Appreciate you much.....Hugs.
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Posted by Hollis
on 2008-02-06 22:24:13
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That's what friends are for Hollis
Take care
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Posted by greensky
on 2008-02-07 09:31:24
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"picking unavailable people to love" .... or in my case "picking unavailable people as friends" .... I need to change the tape on this one. When you do the same things,
in the same way ...
you will get
the same results every time.
Thanks for the wake up call Hollis. You, my dear, are an angel sent from God above. Bless You. Peace
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Posted by ColoradoDreamin
on 2008-02-07 16:39:38
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