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Why I don't date
In this day and age, not dating usually means: you are a major dork who can't get anyone to date you, your parents are over-controlling freaks who won't allow you to date, or you were spurned by a previous boyfriend/girlfriend so you no longer date.
While I may fit into the first catergory minimally(being a dork and all, but I'm sure if I tried I could get someone to date me) I really don't fit into the other two catergories at all. Dad wouldn't like it if I dated, but neither he nor mom would stop me if I wanted to, seeing as how I'm grown now(even if I'm still living at home) so they would leave such decisions as boyfriends up to me, and I've never been spurned by a boyfriend (or any guy for that matter). So that leaves one wondering, why don't I date?
Let me start off by saying the only legitimate reason I can see why someone would date is to try and find a spouse for the future. It is off of this reason that I base my first belief for why I don't date. I see it as an insult to God. Dating to find the person I should marry makes it seem like I don't trust God enough to allow Him to lead my spouse to me. Granted I shouldn't just sit around my whole life waiting for God to do everything for me, but neither should I go out dating person after person saying "Okay God, I think I've found the one. Am I right?" Why not spend my time doing something worthwhile like studying the Bible instead of "playing the field" looking for the "perfect" person. Besides, when I am dating God may not even think I am ready to get married yet. God may not even think I should ever get married period, so all of this dating to find the right spouse business is pointless. It just makes more sense to me to wait on God and when/if He decides it is time for me to get married He'll send someone to me.
With the only legitimate reason to date (that I can think of, this being my personal opinion and all) being not so legitimate afterall that really leaves dating at the point of being... well, pointless. As my mom pointed out it is much easier to use a facade while dating then while one is not dating. Sometimes when someone is in a new relationship they feel the need to act like someone they are not just to please their boyfriend/girlfriend. True this feeling does not last forever, but that is generally (and by generally I really do mean generally) how someone feels when they first start dating. So to avoid this issue, I'll just stick with being friends with people so I can get to know them without the pressure of trying to act perfect so they'll like me better.
Dating is also an unnecessary source of temptation. When I've asked people why they date a common answer has been "because I like the person" and then I ask what is the point? What do you get to do as a boy/girlfriend that you can't do as just friends? ...Going out on dates? You can actually do that with friends since a date is just a time on the calender. Getting presents? You can exchange gifts with friends all the time, including Christmas and your birthday. Having someone tell you you are beautiful and they love you? Well, that is what God is for. Having someone to cuddle and kiss? ahha, so there it the only difference between dating and being friends. Having someone to partake in a lascivious relationship with. Well that rules out the whole secular point of dating for me since I don't believe in kissing outside of marriage.
Of course, there are more reasons than that for why I don't date, but that is just touching on the main points.
This does, of course, leave the obvious question "If you don't date, how do you ever plan on finding the man you'll one day marry?" At the moment I'm leaning toward courtship. The way it would work: friendship followed by courtship followed by engagement followed by marriage.
Now I know it is true that courting is not for everyone and that some people can date maturely. And I don't condemn people that date... if I did that then I'd have no friends. I don't look down on people who date either. I just don't date because that is what I believe. Other people believe differently and I understand that, and I'm sure there are some people out there who can give me legitimate reasons for why they date, but it seems to me that most people (especially high school students/recently graduated high school students) just date to date and really have no reason for doing it.
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Posted by HollieBeth on 2008-08-03 16:09:15 | Rating: | Views: 77
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"Its true dating could be something that is not worthwhile. It can also be temptation that leads a person to another. But that only means were human. God or Gods can bring happiness in your life but maybe your God put you here to find your own happiness. Even in that which is temptation =)"
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Posted by Bloodtears
on 2008-08-03 19:09:20
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Its good to see that you've taken the time to figure things out for yourself. I'm sure God would approve of How your handling your love life.I wish you only the best. God bless , Lou
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Posted by christianity247
on 2008-08-04 16:50:23
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'HollieBeth', It is soooo refreshing to find a young person who has adopted these beliefs and is trusting in God to supply a mate! You sound like a very wise young woman! Unfortunately, I didn't choose the same path, but, in spite of myself, God in His Grace and Mercy, has blessed me!
My daughter has been praying for her children's future mates for years, even though the oldest is, just now, nearing adulthood. Hold fast to your faith and belief in our Mighty God who does supply our every need!
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Posted by Alice
on 2008-08-08 19:10:21
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I agree that relationships can be challenging. In fact, I’ve tried pretty much everything. Now my friend, psychologist Dr. Alexander, showed me what’s been missing. I was looking at the wrong type for me. If you go on Dr. Alexander’s new site, www.loveTypes.com, and take the quiz, you’ll find the type that’s best for you.
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Posted by lovetypeme
on 2008-08-09 12:40:00
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Have you ever read the book, Buyers, Renters, and Freeloaders, Willard F. Harely Jr.?
by the way, You have a very "Torah" view.smile. Many Blessings of Yeshua on your Life!
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Posted by YWGO
on 2008-09-10 20:23:29
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