ok so this guy i am seeing appears to be not what i fell in love with.
he tells me he will change, but I dont think he can.
he blames lots of different things, and i can see how he could do that but i dont want to accept it.
problem is he has been suicidal before and i am scared that if i walk away, which i want to do
that i might be responsible for his next suicide attempt.
he is also really good friends with all my friends and they all seem to really like him - so i am scared what they will say too.  most will probably think it is because of my issues, not his and they are likely to try to keep us together.  i just dont have any energy to deal with him and his problems.

i think i might be pregnant with his child, i had blood tests today and will know tomorow.