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Blinded by Science

Wow! feedom town is the place to be! At my father's home in Bath, a fortunate famliy feast around Sunday lunch.. I forgot what it felt like to get on-line with passion to write about the next day, my day, anyday.

I've been working 60 hours plus a week in two jobs getting my life ready for Taiwan, I finished them on Friday. Wow! time and space is beautiful place to be.. 7 years I lived in Nottingham, and I left it like a too much food on a plate, done. finished. To busy looking ahead.

My girlfriend Pinds and Me have taken turns in the feeling of rejection, by my going away and her staying. As we stand in the supermarket entrance as I change coppers into pounds, she asks "can I pretend I am going with you", of course... I reply. "ace! I feel so much better.. psychology is a wonderful thing!" she had litterally lifted a two day burden of fact away into a distant memory. I had already internally done the same last weekend, and when wondering from this idea, preparing for the sepeartion even before the event, I felt the cold shoulder of the cliff edge it left me hanging on. As we waltzed down the aisle of a supermaket, we swap tomatoe puree for confetti, juice for sunsets, "shall we pretend we are married?"
"Sure!" she says.

On a phone call to me tonight, Pinds has asked, "so how does second day of marriage feel", we both know this prentence is saving us both, "good of course!".

There is a lot to write now,  A LOT to create, life to enjoy. Work as a means to ends is the destruction of mykind.

We all have bases, fundematal values, yet I am always questioning mine at different points, which is good as there is no comfort in joining in a line of ingonarnace for a permenant state, but is unsettling that it's not been concluded and I can move on. This current debate is eating meat. evolution. health and animal waelthfare. I think I am close, but I need rules, and new rules to live by to make life work, organised chaos is still a choice.