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Let me tell you about my weekend. I work in a restaurant, and I was scheduled to work all weekend (double Thursday, Friday night, double Saturday, Sunday morning). With a combination of not wanting to work, hang out with my buddies, and just willingness to try, I call into work. What was my excuse? My mother had Bradycardia, a heart problem that causes your heart to slow down and can potentially be fatal. So all friends, including my best friend and roommate, all think this happened. I act emotional, disappear for hours at a time (so it looks like Im visiting my mom at the hospital), and have to keep an organized story so everybody can be on the same page. All this, so I dont have to work, watch Euro Soccer, and play video games. Does this disgust everybody? I would hope so.
So why the change after all this time? Its catching up to me. Not in a sense of being caught or busted. Its the depression, the sickness in the pit of my stomach, the spontaneous bout of laughter to mask the anger/disgust with myself. Change must be made, or honestly, Im going to blow my fucking head off. I'm not there, but its time for me to end the charade, to become a better person, to be able to walk high, and feel good about myself.
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Posted by Haze on 2008-06-29 10:48:50 | Rating: | Views: 25
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