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It is hard for me to accept the idea of God.
My religion is centered around God, and praying, and yet I cannot seem to open my prayer book and say the words which are said by those who sit around me in temple.
My heart echoes my belief
empty and unchanging as more tradegy is revealed day by day
hour by hour
minute after minute after second
They teach us, in school the meaning of our prayers, why it is important,
why God is important, and i see their points, and i want to be able to sing the songs of praise
and yet my prayer book remains unopened on the seat next to me, and instead I look the other way as though ignoring it will make the burden and confusion evaporate.
I grew up thinking that God is the almighty granter of our gifts and ultimate punisher of our bad deeds
my parents taught me
my school, teachers, temple taught me
never was there a time for us to learn, and grow with the idea by ourselves.
I desecrate the holy sabbath because I feel no need to keep it and to observe its laws.
I've been doing it for about a year now and still my hand lingers by the light switch a moment too long before I turn it on for me to say I am perfectly comfortable and accepting of my rebellion against the laws which brought me up
The deaths on the news:
the child abuse stories:
the stories of rape:
darfur:
Israel- my homeland
America:
the world is bleeding and yet people still pray to the god who created all of it
my ears and eyes are bleeding as I watch and listen and silently wish I knew a way to make the world a better place
my prayer book cannot do that for me,
and so instead, I put my head down
and dream of a tomorrow where God does not allow bad things to happen to good people, does not allow the holocaust, and genocide, and massacres, and violence, and war
we cannot wait for God.
the world MUST someday be a better place
and WE, right now, right this very second,
are the key to that world.
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Posted by Hail17 on 2008-05-03 19:00:31 | Rating: | Views: 179
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