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Working Girl

Life seems to be slowly heading up hill which makes me happy and nervous all at the same time!

I spoke with my old boss last Friday and she explained to me that there was some reluctancy in bringing me back. She said my attendance was less than perfect and I didn't always take care of issues to the end. I agreed with her that my attendance definitely needed some help and I sometimes didn't always feel as confident in my knowledge so would pass on big issues to someone who I thought could handle it better. She explained that things are rough right now and she needs the team to be there 100% doing their best so she can't afford to bring me back if I'm not going to commit to the team or if I'm only doing this until Keith goes back to work. I assured her, I will put forth as much effort as I can into my job. I also informed her that once Keith goes back to work, I won't be going any where. A dual income household is going to make life easier on us and better for Jade.

I met with two of my old co-workers yesterday who reiterated everything Ellen and I discussed as well as informed me of the changes the company had gone through since I'd been gone. It wasn't really an interview but more of a discussion. I spoke with Ellen this morning and she hired me back. I start tomorrow at 7:00am to do my drug test as well as start orientation. As I am coming back, I am on a 6 month probationary period in which I have a 90 day review for a pay increase. I left making $10.75 and will start back at that which is fine with me since I orignally started at $9.

I know that when I left Blue Ox, I was not happy being there and I think a lot of that had to do with my depression as well as feeling unsure of where my life was headed since I was pregnant. Now that Jade is here, I miss the company and the people I worked with. I am ready to go back...for the most part.

I am going to miss Jade like crazy!!! I know it's going to be tough not being with her 24/7/365, but Keith will be home with her and I'm going to make the most of the time her and I do have together on the evenings and weekends.

Honestly, there is a part of me that doesn't want to go back. I would love to be able to stay home with her and be there for every step of the way...but the economy just won't allow that. I just have to bite the bullet, keep a picture of her with me at all times, and check in on my breaks. I keep thinking...remember how excited you'll be to get through the day to get home to her and shower her with love and kisses. I think I'm going to print off a bunch of photos of her and put them in my brag book so I can check her out when I'm missing her tomorrow. Ah! I need to stop talking about how much I'll miss her, it's making me sad thinking about it.

Keith is going to be home for at least another month for worker's comp and then after that, he'll be job hunting. It'd be great if Brehmer's would take him back so it wouldn't put stress on us too much. He's already excited about being a Mr. Mom for a while. I have never been one who wanted to send my child to day care, but I guess I really don't have a choice. We'll be looking into daycare most likely in the next month. Keith said his Mom will watch Jade, but that's a lot of gas to be driving her back and forth. I'm still not ready for her to stay the night away from me so her staying with Julia over night isn't on my soon-to-do list. I also want to make sure that when do look into daycares, they aren't going to try to raise her for me. Julia will try to instill all of her beliefs in Jade and Jade is my daughter, I don't want her having her mind made up by one of her Grandma's, I want her to do that on her own.

Okay, I better get off and get some things done around here before I head back to work to reclaim my title as working girl! Have a great week everyone!!!

Posted by Gnuineblnde on 2009-06-09 11:35:34 | Rating: