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rubbed me the WRONG way... take a bow

so the date with Tr was so akward and really bad. i have this huge pet peeve when guys rub my hands or my arm, and of course that's exactly what he did all night! i just had mindless rubbing lol, and old flame jerry always wanted to do it after sex/fooling around and it drove me nuts, annoyed the hell out of me. sigh. and indiana jones SUCCCCKKKEEED, what the fuck with that ending? aliens? in indian jones!!!! i am outraged, i feel like the entire series was fucking ruined although shiloh lawhatever was in it and lord knows he makes me cream like a virgin in a whorehouse hahaa. in self absorbed news, i look really good and the new hair cut is a hit! and i finally curled my hair completely with a curling iron and it looked awesome and im proud of myself.

i spoke with Cu a bit today, just to apologize bc we've been bickering a lot lately, mostly bc ive stopped having sex with him and he isnt taking it well. he is still unsure about tomorrow, and honestly i dont think we will actually hang out. is that good? maybe, i think hes trying to make a point, but i know its all for pussy so im not very moved, and rihanna says take a bow.

as for MMMEEEE, my favorite person, ever since ive began focusing on life, ive dropped a few pounds since im not so stressed about school and really just eat when im hungry. i went grocery shopping and got mostly healthy stuff and just plan on staying dedicated to my rediculously hard workout schedule.

this upcoming week i have a nightclub planned (mayyybe) and a party i am going to attend solo on friday. i think attending a party alone says your a loser (which i am, i at least admit it) and i think i need to branch out and see what the wind brings me. on tuesday i am going to have my weekly phone call with Og and ask him to see about bringing me a black-fertility-god whose about 6'6", 240 pounds, muscular, smart, and smitten with me beyond distraction lol, and a job.

the rest of my world is good. no major complaints. every day makes it easier to think less about Cu and worry about his bipolar disorder. tomorrow will be another piece of the disgusting puzzle that is us. he is beginning to wear me thin and we may just have to make the break bc i dont see us going back to friends. Didnt talk to Te, i need to go to this party even if it is alone so i can add more men to the rotation. lol, that was so samantha of me