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| billy jean is not my lover
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the adventures begin!
the summer of me has begun and im no longer under his spell. the two weeks we had apart worked wonders. i feel somewhat guilty for my lack of emotion, but then i dont think he really loves me sooo, i dont. we bickered earlier and havent talked since. weve been bickering a lot lately. im being more honest and he's realizing he's lost me. the summer is here and im back to working out and im filing my palm pilot with tons of parties adn girls-nitghts-out in hopes of actually meeting mr right, pretending i am 21 years old and not a 75 year old woman. so get ready to hear about some escapades.
and like clockwork the boys have come a calling. hes out doing whatever and pretending to be scorned and im here pretending i dont give a shit when obviously i do, but at least i can say im no longer romantically head over heals with him, time really does decide all. and here come Tr and Te on time, just when i needed a little care-free fun before... i dont know. i want to be in a relationship, ive had enough of bullshit games and fucking is fucking and my dildo can take care of that. but at this point can i really meet someone who is matching what i'm bringing to the table? but besides all that, I WANT TO BE FUCKKKKED. god, is that so hard? to just want to be pounded. i know, that compltely contradicts whati just said lol, but i want meaningful sex. sex that matters. sex with someone who ACTUALLY loves me, who cant be fucked? this whole thing proves everything i say is a lie bc indeed he is a major part of my day, what i think of.i honestly think i obsess over every guy. well every major guy, i wouldnt have time for all that lol. this whole situation just sucks bc this was a YEAR of investment for nothing. nothing, a year = nothing. its not even like we had a proper relationship/break up. its just crazyness that i let him take over me like this. we may see each other sunday, may. i deleted his number so unless he tries to get in contact me before then, it wont happen. and what would happen if that happened? i would freak out, but i would eventually have to take it with a grain of salt, although i like to have the last word. sigh. STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM!!!!
ok, so i plan on going out, meeting new guys, enjoying my life and really focusing on the city. im really going to try. seriously.
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Posted by FromNYwithLOVE on 2008-05-31 03:13:17 | Rating: | Views: 148
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Loose man one so stand there thousandth guys on line to you so this is only for you that choose the who suit you.
Have a nice saturday.
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Posted by Ottehey
on 2008-05-31 05:11:03
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