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| anxiety and fucking, the two things im good at
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the application process is clicking along and im terrified. this may not be such a safe bet as i once thought. and yes, the gods have assured me sucess is my endpoint, but im just scared, anxious. today was just not a good day for me school wise.
as for him, what are we doing? having a sleepover tomorrow night. yes, he is sleeping over. i dont want to have sex with him, not that it wouldnt be amazing fucking, but it would just continue the never-ending rejection that i love from him. we talked more honestly today and he just sounded so happy and excited to see me and it warmed my heart over but then burnt it to stone when i realize he can genuinely want to be with me in every way, except he doesnt in the exact same sense. but im sticking to moving on. i need to find a good man whose good in bed and leave Cu alone. he's only a waist of my time, emotions, and orgasims. in the same breath, im terribly excited about tomorrow.
on the 21 and single front i have no news to report. i have been enjoying dinners and movies with friends every night of the week and not drinking. with Ls being a bitch as she usually is, i have finally decided to just completely cut her off. i do not need her. i repeat, i do not need her as a friend. i am going out this friday night to first fridays downtown and hopefully the weather will be decent enough to walk around and probably take in a gallery debut or something else exciting and worth my friday night. i could probably go out with Tr, but that would just be hopeless and uncomfortable and he would be his regular clingy self. i did want to go to that club-party, but with Ls not tagging along i really dont know if i have the balls to pull it off after all. plus im dead broke, double homicide broke hahaha. i continue to look for a second job and hopefully one comes my way. im off to bed and reading, it was a long day. |
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Posted by FromNYwithLOVE on 2008-06-05 02:17:57 | Rating: | Views: 91
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Good luck with finding a good bloke. Have a good night when you do go out. I've heard New York has good night life.
I don't think not drinking is a good idea though! Mabe because I'm English! :)
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Posted by yadokta
on 2008-06-05 11:49:26
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