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No, really, I don't.
Sometimes I feel like it isn't even worth it.
I feel like giving up.
I sometimes feel like throwing in the towel and calling it a day.
Anyway, recently I've started dating this girl.
Everyone at school is like, "ohmygod, you're, like, a lesbian!"
And they stare.
I'm like, hell yeah, you got a problem with that?
I wish some people would have a mind of their own, a LIFE of their own.
I'm searching for love, and I don't care if it's with a guy or a girl.
I've done better on cutting.
I guess.
Well, maybe.
My mom's always like, "You're going to be a 35 year old woman who still cuts herself!"
So what if I am?
I know this sounds really, really bad.
But I actually don't see much of a problem with that.
Does that make me horribly weird or something?
Cuz I do want to stop. Forever.
Lately it seems like nothing is going right.
I'm so scared of the future.
I'm just looking forward to Christmas break.
I need a break. From everything.
I hope you all have a good Christmas.
Right now, it just feels right, being with another girl.
Being a "lesbian."
I don't care, it's just the way it is.
Have you ever felt like you have to hide yourself, and your feelings?
Like you have to fight against friends and family, not letting them see the real you?
I hate it, but I think maybe it's better this way.
Sometimes,
I don't know what I want from life.
Or why I'm here.
I guess it'll be all right, though.
Yeah.
Thanks for reading.
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Posted by FoxyBaby on 2007-12-18 12:26:06 | Rating: | Views: 165
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dont lable yourself so much.. try to be at peace.... breath... we are souls trapped in these things called bodies and really i think you should just try to enjoy the great things that happen... don't wait for these great things to happen.. make them happen... its amazing where ur life can go when you open yourself up to the idea that nothing is impossible... you are who you want to be.. if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got.. and it doesn't sound like your that happy with what youve been getting from the universe, so change it. don't ponder on it. don't over analize things just be who you want to be and do what you want to do and laugh and smell the flowers, and find the good in things...
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Posted by Zamicida
on 2007-12-18 13:45:53
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p.s... who really knows what we want from life.. it is far easier to start with the idea of knowing what you don't want from life and then to go from there..... the older i get the more i understand that i will never be able to understand many things... i could sit around forever and ask why this or why that or why me .... honestly though, for me, this served no purpose other than making me depressed because there are no definitive answers .....
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Posted by Zamicida
on 2007-12-18 13:49:26
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i dont understand clearly
but i think that life is costful,isnt it?
---------------------------------------
http://www.rsitem.com
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Posted by forumzi
on 2007-12-19 03:41:15
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hey, u see, your positive! thats good u know, dont need to hide lil secrets that makes u happy and that wont hurt others! cheer up! maybe u want to check my post and let off some steam with my friend KYO....u can punck and kick him but its ok...c'mon he's waiting! =)
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Posted by totcham
on 2007-12-19 06:51:20
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I Feel the same way about life. I don't understand most people in life But hey in life, things are always gonna be unfair, its how we deal with it. I can relate to u on cutting, when ur mother said (U gon be 35 and still cutting), well my dad be like are u gonna still be pulling your hair in ur 40's? I hate when ppl say things like that. But Hey I think I may be a lesbain but Im NOT sure.
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Posted by Plakola
on 2008-01-17 12:01:44
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My parents likes to pretend that im not a Lesbian, we dont talk about it. When she found out I cut she kept saying how other people wpuld react. I dont want to stop cutting, if I still cant handle things I will probably cutting myself until the day that I die.
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Posted by Jasmine16
on 2008-01-17 12:52:36
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