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 I dont trust him! I cant believe i only just realised this!
No wonder i was never sure about being with him. How stupid!
If id've realised this sooner maybe things would be different.
Oh man, break through, lol.
EDITED 27/02/08
&& is it really wrong of me to wish that i had realised sooner? then maybe there was a chance? coz i dont deny i loved him, i totally did, just by the end of it, i wasnt IN love with him. i have very strict ideals about love, and so i guess that makes me a hypocrite in a way. You hear all these songs on the radio, ppl singing about how they are in love and how that is all that matters, but really, its not.
My best friend has always said that she knows i can do better, but that is because she doesnt know him like i do, altho admittedly i know i can do better, but still, she saw a very different guy to what i did. Like i was telling Drin last night, when we were alone he was all love, he was this amazing, gentle, loving, funny, kind, sweet, caring guy that was the exact opposite to the guy he was in front of his friends, when he was with his mates he was someone i didnt even know, he was a liar and all in all just not a very nice person, esp when he drinks, he looks for fights, im always the first person he would call so i would cop it.
But yeah, its just that "what if" scenario. That stupid little niggle deep down inside that plagues, im sure, more than one or two ppl all over the world. That feeling of not knowing, and so we wonder, constantly, now he is all i can think about again.
As matter of fact im pretty confident in saying we would have been a pretty sturdy couple had we ever gotten together. He was always making comments about how he would love to live with me, i was always made jokes and just laughed it off, he once said: "if we were to have kids id want to have your colour hair so they would remind me of you" (im not sure where i was going to be lol). AND HERE IS WHERE THE TRUST ISSUE CAME INTO PLAY! I never believed him because, and obv didnt realise at the time, i didnt trust him. Thats why i was always so dumbfounded when he said those things.
But oh well, it happens i guess. I hope he doesnt hate me. I hope when i have had enough time away from him and i contact him again he wont tell me to bugger off, i really do want to be friends with him for the rest of my life, im just not sure we will too.
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Posted by Foxer on 2008-02-26 00:56:15 | Rating: | Views: 65
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ITS never too late anyways , its gud that u have atleast realised it that u finally dont trust him , the same happened wit me too so i know wat u actually feeling , its really very strange feeling coz its the very same moment when u feel lyke nt going thru whole self deception thing still u have realised it , so its gud for u . i hope u stick wit wat u hav decided for ur ownself coz thats a biggest challenge nw
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Posted by mishal
on 2008-02-26 10:21:49
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I've been in a similar situation myself! Very tricky and fragile place to stand.
My advice would be to talk keep trying and trying to talk to him even if he pushes you away.
Eventually he will let you in again, and if you handle it right, the friendship will make it through to the other side that much stronger :)
Good luck!
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Posted by ReD_MooN
on 2008-02-26 23:59:05
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