As probably more than one of you have already figured out.
The second chance request with OY was a bad idea, well, maybe not a bad idea, because imagine if i hadnt of asked, id be entering here everyday boring everyone with my ever present feelings of anxiety and regret of not asking him. SO no, not a bad idea, perhaps just a bit too late with it thats all.
I know that he will regret his decision, and i dont mean this to be malicious at all, he is doing what is right by him, and i only wnat him to be happy, if that is where he is happy then that is where he should be. I just want the only place for him to be happy is with me.
I miss him already, so, so much. I cant even talk to him now. I told him i hoped that he would still let me know when he was in town but i received no reply, so im not sure how to take that.
Back to the point, Drin was right in saying he may not realise straight away, but once it all goes to shit again he will understand what a mistake he made. I just hope by then we arent grey old biddies on our deaths beds, lol.
It annoys me that he has done this when i put up with all the crap of getting him out of there in the first place. I wish i had kept all his msgs and things, more than that tho i wish i kept his recording of "I wanna make you smile", the Adam Sandler song from the Wedding Singer that he re-recorded for me :(
But, like i was saying to Drin, my feelings are SO different from when i deleted all those little things of him, quite the contrary in fact, that when i deleted them i didnt think i would need them again.
So to this man, my man who wrote me lyrics and such words of love, i pray that you realise and embrace the fact that, i think i am in love with you.
I cannot wait forever, although i cannot garuantee that if i knew i could have you at the end of it, i wouldnt try to, but i am moving on. I already miss you terribly. And love you more than you know.
Let me know when you are ready && i will be yours.
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