Well, here I am just a few short hours after taking Jim (Scotslad) to the airport for his journey back to the UK. I think this by far is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It just felt as though my heart was being ripped out of my chest and stepped on over and over again by the American government. Never in my life have I 'disliked' being an American than right now.

Love means nothing to the government officials anymore. They think anyone who is a foreigner is in to no good and does not deserve to live in, and sometimes even visit the U.S. I find that quite funny when considering our past. If it wasn't for immigrants and foreigners there would be NO America, at least not like it is today. The Native Americans would be here and that would basically be it.

I know a few bad people have ruined it for us all since 9/11, but come on! The government officials think it's ok for married couple to be separated until they get their fingers out and process forms so that they can stay in the country legally. I would like to know what the officials would do if they were in our position and they were the ones being restricted from their spouses and family. I'm betting things would move a whole lot quicker if the situations were reversed.

I know this is going to be a very rough few days, weeks, and maybe even months. With each day passing it is going to become harder and much more difficult to feel the burden of the distance and separation. All those lost moments of cuddling, goofing around, or just gazing into one another’s' eyes can never be regained. We are missing out on our lives together and that hurts me. To know I'm not going to go to bed with him lying next to me, or not wake up to his gentle kiss in the morning is going to be hard to bear.

I consider myself very lucky to have found such a genuine, trustworthy, caring, understanding, and gentle man. I will be the first one to admit that I can be a handful. I can have my moments of ups and my moments of down. I can have crazy sugar highs, and lows where I'm very quiet and just out there, but he accepts me for who I am, and that is hard to find in a man.

He can always make me smile, and even when things seem so dark and down he seems to make things brighter, and gives me something to look forward to everyday. I also do and have had issues with self esteem and my self image, as a lot of women do, but he keeps assuring me that I am beautiful inside and out, and even though I am slow, I think I am slowly beginning to understand what he sees. He makes me feel special each and everyday, and I often wonder what I have done to deserve such a great guy.

He often jokes saying that I am stuck with him, I just wish everybody out there has the opportunity to love, and to be loved by someone like him. I never thought this was possible, especially for myself, but he has once again proven me wrong. I am the lucky one, and every night I give my blessings to where they are due.

Out of everyone in the whole world, out of all the sites in the whole of the internet, with a 5 hour time difference somehow we ended up in the same place, at the same time, and somehow we found one another. Not only did we find one another, but we gave love a chance. We both took risks, and looking back now there is nothing I wouldn't change for the world.

Please keep your thoughts and prayers with us, helping us make it through this separation. We can use all the help and all of the strength we can get. As the one I love would say, Namaste.

I love you Jim.