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So you all see my age. My preacher is in his late 30's and his wife (early 40's) just passed away from a nerve disease. My preacher has only been here for just over a year, and his recently departed wife was diagnosed with the disease almost as soon as they moved here. The church I attend is kind and hospitable and well intentioned, but before this preacher it was run mostly as a country club. Nobody really experienced tragedy and there were no needy people attending, so they have been vastly out of touch with how to deal with the situation. Anyway, during his wife's last days I came over and sat with her and cleaned his house and helped out and they both seemed to enjoy my company. All is well.
She passed.
The preacher just got back from necessary leave-of-absence, and began to confide in me as a friend, though he seems to not have too much chummyness with other members in his church. All is understandable. I am not phoney and I really, deeply care and empathize, I am also good at comforting people in grief, and have a knack for attracting random people to confide in me.
Anyway, he calls me today, and he starts to tell me about his feelings over his wife's death, and the possibility of finding a new wife. He tells me things that are honest, but difficult to listen to, like how he has really been mourning her appearent death for the last seven months (while she was alive), and how she has (I excuse his lack of forethought in phrasing) not really been able to be his wife during that time- he mentions cooking and cleaning. It sounds heartless, but when a preacher drops his pretenses in bitter mourning one can hardly blame him for lack of social correctness. He talks about being lonely and wanting to call me (I am his only friend in a 150 mile radius, so this is natural) but, not wanting to get any rumors started, or cause my boyfriend to be upset. He talks about finding a new wife later, in the future, after all he is not old.
I tell him I always take people's calls, and my boyfriend would understand if he needs to talk (my boyfriend and I are nocturnal, so we are usually together at night. Plus, he attends church with us, and likes the preacher, and knows he is taking the death of his wife hard.) Then he asks if James and I are in a serious relationship. ---Yes, I consider all my relationships serious. I honor the man I am with to the best of my abilities without daring to be submissive. I honor him as an equal, who I am in Love with.---
I tell the preacher this, and he seems to almost to chide me. I know I am younger, but life has thrown all sorts of situations my way to bring me to maturity QUICKLY. Then I suddenly realize my preacher is scoffing at my choice. This angers me. The whole point is, I think the preacher likes me as more of a friend in his confusion of emotions, but he does not realize it, and that it is comming through in his speech inadvertently. I have already agreed to be his maid for the next month, and I won't back down from that, but how do I treat him compassionately and yet professional?
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Posted by Fiona1234 on 2008-07-18 18:08:55 | Rating: | Views: 21
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