Hey, so I thought I'd jot down a quick entry.  Now that my competition is over and I'm trying to figure out what to do next, life still goes on. 

I had lunch the other day with some friends and realized just how lucky I am.  I mean when I was growing up my circle of friends was very limited.  I think this was by choice and by necessity.  It was hard for me socially.  As much as I wanted to belong to a group I didn't know how to act or to connect.  As I have gotten older, I think I have a better understanding.  I'm not so closed up and I welcome friendships.  My desire to belong to a "group" is strong.  And my hubby is such a personable person that he opens the door for me to find friends and then to cultivate the relationships.  Anyway, I am thrilled to have friends.  And all sorts of friends.  From all areas of my life.  Work, the gym, my kids' school, my kids' sports teams, my husband's job, the connections he's made, neighbors, this blog, and the list goes on.  Like I had written about a while ago, we are like a pebble dropped into a pond and the wave circle that it makes touches so many others.  My wave has touched others, their waves have touched me.  Its amazing, its overwhelming, I'm so very grateful!  Really.  I don't want to sound sappy, but having these new found friends, close or just acquaintances, truly gives me a sense of worth.  I matter.  If only a tiny bit, I matter. 

And because of this, I will continue to do what motivates me... working out and trying to eat clean.  Gluttony and I are still battling but I will eventually win.  Fitness always does. 

I received feedback from the head judge at the competition.  Basically she said that I need more lean muscle mass, uh, yeah.  No kidding?  I'm a stick!  So, I wasn't shocked by that or even hurt, I expected that.  She also said in a very nice way that my posing sucked.  Yeah, wasn't shocked by that either.  That was my own fault.  And then she said my stage presence needed work?  Huh?  Now that miffed me a little bit.  But I think she was lumping the whole posing disaster with the stage presence.  So, okay, I'll work on that too.  And lastly she commented on my suits.  Apparently she didn't like my two piece.  It has crystals along one hip rather than material.  She didn't dig that.  I was planning to get a new two piece next year anyway, so okay, I can deal with that too.  But, rather than this info sending me to hide under a rock or throw a temper tantrum, I'm going to learn from it.  I want to do well if I compete again.  I want to move up in rankings, damn it.  My body type is that of an ectomorph and some day I'll dwell on that, but for now, let's just say its really hard for me to put on muscle.  So, I've begun my research on how to deal with what I've got and make the most of it.  It'll be a battle.  But one that I can fight and even have some success.  So, I'm looking for a good work out program and a good off-season hard muscle-gainer diet.  I'll keep you posted.

And my kids motivate me.  So, I think I will post an entry about them soon.  I've kind of kept them out this blog for selfish reasons, but now, it just may be their time for the spotlight!

Until next time...