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I am so sad today.
Each night when I go to bed I think of Craig and wish with all my heart that he was here with me. I push back the tears and talk to God. But for some reason I never tell him how sad that I am. Or how much I miss my husband. I do pray a lot for him and for the things that we are trying to get set up so that he can come here. I even pray for help after he gets here. But for some reason I never tell God how sad I am that he isn't here. I need to do that too. Maybe he could comfort my heart.
I am not doubting God's Powers at all. But I am just so sad all the time, I don't think anything can change it. Because I have to make a choice to let God help me, when I ask him too.
It just seems the sadness is so deeply routed inside of my soul, that I don't have the power to allow God to take it away and replace it.
I see now what I need. I need to place it all in God's Capable Hands, and allow him to renew my hope in all that will happen. And the fact that God is there and will take care of everything. Maybe then I wouldn't be so sad.
It is so hard to know that each night Craig and I go to bed in different states so very far away. It hurts soo much! I miss him soooo much!
Talking on the phone all the time is really great. But it doesn't replace the fact that we could be together. It shouldn't be too much longer until I will be going back to Tampa. Maybe late in June or even before that.
My Uncle Billy (my daddy's only brother, my only connection to a blood relative of my father) will be coming through Louisville, especially to see Jordan and me. I must be here for that. I look so forward to seeing him. My mom does not want this to happen. I am so afraid that she will try to stop it from happening. Since we use her car, she could come up with some reason that we can't use it on that day. But if she does, we will take a cab. They will only be staying 8 miles from where we live. Well, that's really another story. But it does sort of fit in with this blog too.
Anyway I can't wait to see my hubby again. I want us to be together.
I guess today, I am just feeling that seeing him and having him here with me, is sooo far away that it is really hurting now.
I try not to think about it, but sometimes I get scared that he will never be in the same city with me ever again. But God has answered so many prayers for me, I do have a lot of faith. God has answered prayers for me that I never thought would ever happen. It is true that God Is Good!
I just wish I wouldn't be so sad and get so scared!
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Posted by Fancie on 2008-05-31 14:29:04 | Rating: | Views: 142
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just trust in God and everything will work out, i will pray for you both good luck with visiting your uncle
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Posted by kitkatbar
on 2008-05-31 15:04:05
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Keep the faith, Fancie. Faith in God and faith that you will be with your husband very soon. And, don't forget to smile.
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Posted by Meredith
on 2008-05-31 15:17:40
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You know the answer here don't you? Yes, keep praying and just tell God that He has to come into your heart and change your feelings, tell Him you need a miracle....you will get it.
Love you sister :)
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Posted by smilinirisheyes
on 2008-06-04 10:55:02
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I'm sorry you miss your husband but hopefully, before you know it he will be right there with you and all that worry and sadness will be a distant memory.
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Posted by Faith
on 2008-06-04 18:57:39
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Thanks to all of you for such wonderful comments. It made me feel so much better.
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Posted by Fancie
on 2008-06-04 19:00:17
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We are all here for you. You have all of my love and support. All at your disposal and yours for the taking if you want it. You have a kind heart
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Posted by ReD_MooN
on 2008-06-04 21:27:00
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There will be good times to come, you are a lovely person and I know it will work out for you. x
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Posted by pixiepatch
on 2008-06-05 12:22:15
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Thank you so much redmoon and pixiepatch. Everyone is so sweet on thoughts. I am so glad for friends like all of you.
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Posted by Fancie
on 2008-06-06 15:35:06
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