This is the first Blog I have written and I'm not sure what I'm really doing! I basically wanted somewhere that I could write and let people, that I don’t necessary know, read and comment on.
Trouble is, I would normally talk to a friend, but sometimes you don’t know who you can trust or what others might say if they found out. On the whole I would discuss all of my feelings with my boyfriend, but he’s hundreds of miles away at the moment due a job opening.
I'm currently confused with my life and I'm not sure what is what anymore. I'm at university in my final year, I'm about to start my dissertation and I haven’t a clue what I'm supposed to be doing or what is expected of me! To be honest, it just completely terrifies me at the moment. I hope that once I get started on it all it will just slot into place; otherwise… well, otherwise, I’ll fail…
The one thing we’re all scared of, I imagine, failure, and everything that comes with it. I don’t want to fail, not only because I’ll feel dreadful, but because so many people want me to pass right now. I was put down so much when I was small for being “stupid” and “slow”, but I thought that I’d like to show them, I’d like to achieve something. That’s what made me come to Uni in the first place – wanting to get a degree that I could wave in their faces’ and say “Ha! I did this, me, on my own”.
But now… now I wonder if I really want to do this? Deep down, do I really want to?