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Suffocating - It's Time You Let Go.

I started a blog on here on Christmas Eve. I was upset, Tears Falling, Rage Rising. Unfortunately I lost the whole thing by accident, and I wasn't in the mood to re-write.

I will start with some background information.

I am 17, I am Male, I Live In Lonodn, UK.
I have Friends which mean the world to me.
With the New Year I want a New Me.

Now back to the point of my blog. Like I said, I am 17, some of you may already of made the assumption that I go out a lot, go out and come home early hours of the morning and that im out most day's of the week. Ohhhh... you couldn't be more wrong. I normally try to go out at least on Friday, and even then it takes lots of persuasion for me to get my curfew to at least 10:30pm, and if I am lucky 11pm. To be honest, I should already be allowed out that late, I shouldn't have to bargin my way to have a good time!

Who is all this persuasion aimed at you may ask, and the word comes out bitter, My Mother. I am 18 this year, I am learning to drive, and yet she some how thinks I am irresponsible and immature? She say's she can't trust me, apparently I knew something about my sister, that I should of told her, (That is an entirely different story which I was going to write about on Christmas Eve.)

I'm fed up of having to ask for permission to go out at 8PM!! IT'S RIDICULOUS! She makes me frustrated, I can't do anything, I feel like the years of my teenage life are being wasted due to her.

Some of you may say that she is doing it to protect you, and I accept that point of view, HOWEVER, how am I ment to experience things, I am ment to be experiencing when I can't even leave this prision she calls a home, I am an adult this year, I will be driving before May hopefully, what will happen then? Will she still keep me locked up? Will I need permission before I go out?

The whole reason I am writing this blog is that I was asked to go out earlier and I asked her and she said "No." That's it, No reason, nothing, and when I sayed thats not good enough I want a reason, know what she said, she said, She said that it was and that she said I couldn't and that was it.

Then she told me to stop arguing, DO YOU ACTUALLY BLAME ME THOUGH? It's pathetic, tbh this is the sort of thing my friends were going through at 14? 15? but at 17, it's pathetic. To be honest she is lucky that I haven't stormed out, and be gone for hours, worrying her, haha, that sounds like a good idea to be honest. Maybe that's what I will have to resort to if things continue like this, becuase if this lasts untill I am 18, I don't think I will be able to cope. Earlier I stormed to my room, and threw things around, and kicked furniture and items. I know it's a childish way to cope with things, but it's the only way I can vent my anger and despair.

My Mother is Suffocating Me and Restricing Me....
.....She Wrapped Me In Cotton Wool At The Age Of Five .....
.....And She Still Hasn't Taken Me Out Of it.

I'm going Insane.

- Falling Apart