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I feel like one of the skittles in a ten pin bowling alley, one minute you're doing very nicely thank you after picking yourself up off the floor and then before you can catch your breath it's another whammy and pow you are back down kissing the dirt.
I have gotten to thinking whether it is worth getting back up thier again, you know you're only gonna be knocked back down, and then my tiger exerts itself and I'm determined to get right back up and fight back. But it is exhausting.
I listen to what others have to say and weigh it up in my own mind, for instance, sometimes I feel I want to tell family to go walk of a short plank into a deep river, but then you hear how people have taken this stance and regretted later when their child has done good! After being a real pain for years and causing grief and aggro for those who love them. But as you do not know the future can you take the risk? Equally when do you call a stop to it? You love them, but you may not like them very much. Ever found yourself in this situation?
How many times can you open your arms and welcome them back in the fold, how many times can you realistically take the pain and anquish, the worry, sleepless nights. Do you in fact teach them any lessons or do they expect you to pick up the pieces - arrogant in the knowldege you will always be there for them!
When is enough enough?
If you show them affection and acceptance do they regard you a weak and mallable? If you flex your muscles and lay down the law do they punish you by disappearing for hours or days? How do you cope?
Are our youngsters selfish and uncaring or do they do this for effect. These are just some of the questions that rumminate around my brain with no real answers to be found at least not in my experience.
And of course you are judged are you not as a parent it is your responsibility to ensure they grow up respectable and if they don't then it is obvious you did something wrong. Yet the most loving parents can have nightmare children and those who don't give a toss end up with kids who are so switched on - what is the answer?
There are no right or wrong answers and yet, I despair at times of my children opening their eyes and smelling the coffee.
I thought having kids was supposed to get easier as they got older, in my experience I would prefer them younger as the problems now sometimes seem insurmountable and the cracks in my heart are getting wider by the day. It only takes one! Yet I can achieve such joy from that same child, I revel in his uniqueness and wonder at his understanding of some things and level headedness, yet cannot understand how he is unable to see what others can, his complete blindness in some areas.
I just pray that these days of such turbulance are short lived, although they seem to have been present for so long. I don't know if I have enought wisdom to handle it well and patience is packing as I speak.
Oh for a simple life! To think in my youth I craved adventure! Be careful what you wish for - you may get when you least expect!
love and peace
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Posted by Faithcaper on 2008-01-22 10:59:22 | Rating: | Views: 70
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Great Well Written Post. I have no answers. I'm not a parent, but have great respect for those who are. Being a Mother is the most difficult job in the world. May Patience and Blessings abound in your life. Peace
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Posted by ColoradoDreamin
on 2008-01-29 00:32:13
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