Evita

my body my choice WTF

2009-05-10T00:50:41-04:00

the phrase My body My choice to support abortion is very UNsupported

I just get upset when I see that phrase used

Yes it's your body... you have control over it

Yes it's your choice... you can decide things for yourself

Your body Your choice

You Chose

You had sex

Wait... um...

isn't the goal of sex to... get pregnant?

If you didn't want to carry a baby, you should not have had sex!

of course their are unfortunate instances where women don't give consent and are forced with a child...

But I'm upset with the Majority of abortions that happen outside of those extreme cases

Responsibility starts with conception

Sex before Marraige

2009-05-07T22:05:23-04:00

Is it wrong? Is it right?

In college it seems like nobody follows abstinence.

It makes me wonder why.

Is saving yourself just advice to avoid pregnancy and people just take risks?

Or is it something virtuous that people just don't care about?

I just feel alone and shunned upon for my deviant behavior.

I guess I just wish more people just thought on the same level as me.

Or just were louder about their vow.

I dont deserve God

2009-05-06T03:45:32-04:00

I don't deserve God. And sometimes when I'm upset I purposely avoid prayer because I don't believe I deserve to be comforted...

Sloth

2009-03-13T23:13:22-04:00

I've been so slothful and I feel so utterly disgusted with myself for it.

The worst part is I'm afraid I won't be able to overcome it. I've allowed it to control so much of myself.

I was reading Proverbs 26:13-16 and it was so obvious to me that I've been sinning.

I even remember telling my roommate how I'm too lazy to make dinner sometimes to eat like in Proverbs 26:15.

It's terrible how easily I can come up with excuses when I really have none.

It tears my heart apart and makes me cry like crazy.

I'm worried that I can't overcome it on my own. I've prayed for help but I'm worried that based on my behavior so far, I will just deny it again and go on sinning.

I need to fix this...

lustful girls

2009-03-06T15:18:40-05:00

I don't know about anyone else but...

I don't really like girls who are selfish

I don't like girls who are lustful

And I especially don't like it when they're both

Especially when they're one of my closest friends...
It kinda hurts but I can't show I'm too upset because I can still see the better parts of her

Wonderful Little Things

2009-01-26T17:23:50-05:00

I love it when the world gives little things to cherish. Those moments where you wonder if your life is like a book. Today there was a certain song that was playing and it tied in so well with my life. This song always seems to get played when I approach a part of my life. Every time I hear it kinda just clicks and brings a smile to my face. It's as though I know someone above is watching over me and They show it with these little things.... little details. It's beautiful... so beautiful that it can make me cry easily... tears of joy. I love the Lord so much!!!! God Bless.

Never Been Kissed

2009-01-11T03:04:07-05:00

Yeah... I'm in college and 19 years old. I don't really know how I got to this point... I know that I was really busy in high school. I hardly had energy for myself after all of the work I did so I didn't really look for relationships knowing I wouldn't be able to give anything to it... but mostly well I really don't know why it's never really happened before... I mean it's just a simple little thing. It kinda sucks. and even though I'm mentally more mature than many of my peers... it still feels as though I'm a child.

I wonder what I'm doing wrong... I mean I wouldn't say I'm too bad looking... I've noticed now that I'm away from the small little village I used to live in and in college, more guys have created interest in me... but it seems like they make attachments so quickly.

I don't know exactly how to really fix this without you know just kissing some random stranger... I don't really want to do that because I could have given in a long time ago if I was going to do that.

Any advice? I know there are probably other details that are important but left out but i wouldn't know what those are.

I just know this isn't a good thing and it bothers me. It doesn't completly take over me but I think it could if I didn't hold it back. It's just something that can make me cry... and I really don't want to have to cry about it anymore...

Wish I had a Sibling!

2009-01-02T01:33:50-05:00

I'm an only child a lonely only child. I laugh now at how my parents would by me board games when there wasn't anyone to play with. It would make my situation so much easier. I know that I have been given more because I'm the only child, but I would give it all away to fill those empty moments in my life and in my heart.

I'll be all alone. The only way that I would ever be an aunt is through marriage. That breaks my heart. Sometimes I feel bad when I see others with a bigger family. It's worse because we live in the country.

But I'm not going to let my life get swept away like theirs have. I like being around people. I will just love other people more. I just need the courage to continue changing...

Dealing Mom's Anxiety

2008-12-31T23:17:53-05:00

I can't wait to move away again. She can't control herself. She gets so upset at me to the point that tears fall down my cheeks. I don't deserve this verbal abuse. I do so many good things and I never really get in trouble. My dad agrees with me. She's on meds but they don't seem to stop her. Even when I was very little she would treat me this way. I don't even talk to hardly at all because I know she will end up breaking my heart. I wish she would counseling. But she looks down on that, which I don't understand.

But in a few days I will be back at school and away to heal. I just wish I wasn't so dependent still. I don't have time for a job. But hopefully I will be able to move out completely soon.

And I'm glad that I don't have be like she is. I found out that on my own, I'm a completely different person. A more loving person.

WHY!!!!

2008-12-30T14:40:21-05:00

I don't get how people can just think it's fine to

put pictures on here that are completely

revealing!!!! I don't really think everyone should

be forced to see that automatically in the recent

photos. Even if it's flagged it stays up on the

recent photos. If I wanted to see that I would go

to a different website. There are some twisted

people out there. I'm not saying that the human

body isn't beautiful, but do you have to that

here????????

Need for Love

2008-12-26T01:09:07-05:00

Why are there so many wrong reasons to fall in love? I hope that I don't fall in love for the wrong reasons. I'm single and I've been alone for quite awhile especially considering my age (19). All I know is that I'm slowly losing hope. I'm not miserable. I just want to be able to spend time with someone. I think it would be really nice. I'm not even worried if it doesn't last long. Hopefully when I go back to college I'll bump into someone. It's just not as easy to deal with when you roommate should basically be renamed Scarlett OHara!

To the Person of my Past

2008-12-18T15:45:00-05:00

Release that anguish my dear

Let loose all of those tears

Tis a shame that you should have to deal with this

But those feelings you must dismiss

The path before you is unforgiving

But worth it to continue living

Keep that chin slanted toward the sun

And give it a smile for me hon

Live life with what you've got

Believe in every single thought

And with a little help... yes

You will reach those stars yet

A Feeling... a poem

2008-12-17T22:36:21-05:00

I am, torn apart

I feel a deep burning
yearning in my heart

A yearning that will
never be quenched

Even by tears, it won't
become drenched

For an emotion like
this can't ever go away

Though you ignore it,
in your soul it shall stay

Scoliosis Anyone?

2008-12-11T01:17:51-05:00

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has dealt with scoliosis.

But I thought I would give out my story...

I was diagnosed with severe scoliosis when I was 10 years old. It was so bad that I had to have anterior and posterior spinal fusion surgery. I have 2 rods in my spine and a rib and parts of my hip bone in there to fuse the vertebrae. Also there's some bone from the bone bank, which is kinda creepy for me to think about. I had to wear a brace for 8 months afterwards. I was a major tomboy and played basketball so it wasn't too fun. I also couldn't participate in gym or recess with the exception of swinging on the swing and sliding down the slide. Kinda boring.

Now I know there are probably tons of people who have it worse than I do so I want to make it clear that I'm not trying to win any contest by explaining my hardships. I just want to give people something to relate to if needed.

Now I'm 19 and I think I have fared well through the past 9 years. But it never gets too easy and I still get self-conscious about scars and just the fact that I sit up so straight. But I am forever thankful that I had the surgery. I don't know how long I would have made it if I hadn't had it.

So I will probably use this blog to give out a little insight to how I coped and continue to cope with this disease.

Please feel free to comment. But I can only give advice based on my experiences... I am not a doctor