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In a blog posted by WRITER; she stated that she had the disease called Hypergraphia... I found it interesting and coincidental that my friend and I had a similar conversation earlier that afternoon...
Now I have been contemplating this post since WRITER’S post… But on that day my friend Adrian spoke to me about The Writer’s Season! Another coincidence I think is the name we were discussing VS the blogger who wrote about Hypergraphia. Coincidence only I assure you!
Adrian told me that The Writer’s Season is that time where a story teller, poet, or blogger even, writes in frenzy… I bring this up because I am in my writing season! We also discussed how long it lasts, what causes it to begin and end… He explained that The Writer’s Season is different for each different person…
Some of you may have heard, (I may have told you or you just figured it out!) That I have been very depressed for a few years… For certain reasons that I am just not ready to talk about… But, it was this depression that caused me to stop writing… That and the fact that another friend told me that I could not write anything that was not hateful, depressing, or negative in connotation. Now I never have shared my writing with many people this guy was one of the few. This comment frustrated me so I tried to prove him wrong, and in fact, proved him right! With that I laid my pen and paper aside.
That was three years ago…
A few months ago I was browsing through web sites and came across THOUGHTS.COM… I started reading through the various blogs and ended up messing around in the forums… After a while I had an INDIRECT conflict with someone in the forum so I stepped back… (I did not come here for conflict, but to get rid of the conflict I have/had within myself…) This was actually a fortunate incident, because it was then that I REALLY learned about the BLOG side of thoughts… I had never really thought about blogging and honestly it was a mystery for me. So I started browsing…
People are so beautiful! They have all the same problems that I have, some have worse problems, some have less… I found I could relate to many, and I found that some I could not even come close to understanding…
A particular post sticks with me now, (from whom or in what forum I cannot say) but it said, “When you point a finger at someone, there are three more pointed back at you!” This stuck in my head… I started to analyze a lot of my life and tried to see what I was doing wrong, instead of what everyone else was doing wrong.
I find now that I have totally neglected my family for eight years. I had become so enthralled in work that I failed to spend time with them… (Quality time), then I became a Drill Instructor and a father of a brand new boy almost in the same week! Then I started training and deploying and was gone all the time, finally I lost a chance at a dream and goal in the Army… This devastated me…I became angry! I began to drink, became reclusive, and lost myself. I continued to neglect the family… It was my fault I allowed this to get to me… I know I am being general, but the point is, I chose to stay Army, therefore I chose to follow instruction… When things did not go my way, I acted childish and took it out on my family, my friends, and the Army… I became hateful, pointed fingers at the leaders for the decisions they made, took a negative attitude which affected my family like a plague and they became angry and depressed… It was everyone’s fault but mine and I hated them all!
I am such a JACKASS! I was sooooooo wrong…. My son, daughter, and the absolute love of my life (My Wife!) have paid hell for 8 years… I know now it is time to go home and get myself and my family back on track…. It is not going to be easy, but I am going to do my best…
But it all started with you all here in thoughts.com, you caused me to think, you caused me to understand how I have treated my children, my wife, and myself… I now realize I must take responsibility for my actions…
I now do my best every day, it may not be good enough for everyone, but it is my best and it is all I can do. I am happy with that!
I started writing again, I am in a season, a Writer’s Season… I do not know how long it will last, but I hope it never ends…
E
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Posted by Evetspordlaw on 2008-10-11 11:10:34 | Rating: | Views: 98
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Hey bro!
The first thing to remember is that you are human. We all have periods of our life when we are neglectful, selfish, or simply unaware of our actions' impacts on those around us.
It's a GREAT thing to get focus on that and make positive changes.
You are a good man, I can tell that clearly from your posts and your attitude in general (not to mention your inherent sense of duty and honor). No doubt your family will welcome you and any positive adjustments you make toward them and life in general.
Just don't beat yourself up too much. I do that, my father does that, and it leads you back down the same path because you fixate on it.
Write away, I'll be reading! Keep your head down and your chin up, be safe, and I'm pulling for you both professionally and personally.
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Posted by SmoothOperator
on 2008-10-11 11:22:35
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Hey E I'm glad you are working things out keep moving forward alright. Also got to tell you I am glad you are writing here on thoughts I do enjoy reading your thoughts. I too stumbled onto thoughts forums and dabble there for a while. Then came over to the blogging side of thoughts and I do enjoy it tremendously. Thanks for the insight you contribute to thoughts.
D
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Posted by bigd49
on 2008-10-11 11:39:27
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Gents,
Sorry bout the whining, just clearing my head I know of no better place to do so! I appreciate your replies and man it is good to have the support...
Smooth- Never had I thought I would enjoy reading about the life of a train operator! Your blog is always amazing! You my friend are a great man, and I look up to you and how you handle events in life everday. I always look for your next post... I do my best everyday! Thanks for your words brother.....
BigD- Kind of always was embarrased about my writing (you know the whole big guy writing mushy crap!) but comming here and seeing men like you writing, I feel that I found something I did not know was out there I appreciate it.. You keep writing too bro, I learn from your every post....
E
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Posted by Evetspordlaw
on 2008-10-11 12:34:17
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I think that you have a great talent. I would hate to see your "season" end. You know I am keeping you and your family in my prayers. :) Be safe my friend.
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Posted by heatherslife
on 2008-10-11 13:35:09
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Thank You sooo Much Heather...You are a wonderful, wonderful person....
E
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Posted by Evetspordlaw
on 2008-10-11 13:40:35
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The insight, understanding and wisdom I have gained from reading the stories of the thoughts community, is beyond measure.
E, there is a season for every activity under Heaven. A time to tear down and a time to build. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to love and a time to hate. This is your season to embrace love, rebuild and reconnect with your family. Happy rebuilding my friend. Peace.
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Posted by ColoradoDreamin
on 2008-10-12 14:50:05
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I'm glad you are in writers season :)
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Posted by Writer
on 2008-10-12 17:09:41
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Thank You Writer!
E
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Posted by Evetspordlaw
on 2008-10-12 17:23:20
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CD- I have made a promise to myself to go home and be the father and husband that I have not been for so long... I think in doing this I will finaly find the peace you speak of.... I am sure the will be a myriad of emotion through it all, and I hope my tears fall in the form of ink on paper...
E
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Posted by Evetspordlaw
on 2008-10-12 17:31:54
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I've been reading the intro to this blog for a few days now, and tonight finally I have come in ready to read. I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it, I can feel your frustration, your emotion, and I am impressed that you have recognised where you are in your life and where you know you should be. I'm glad you found thoughts, and I hope even when you are happy at home with your family that you'll visit all of us here in thoughts land.
Nicely shared E.
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-10-13 06:26:21
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Easy! Trust me, I will not leave thoughts! It is here that I have found a much needed release, and as the pressures and the stresses build upon my homecoming, I am sure I will need Thoughts.com in my life more than ever... I may not post as frequently, but I will be pacing the halls, hands clasped behind my back, looking for any morsel of knowledge someone may drop... I love this place...
E
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Posted by Evetspordlaw
on 2008-10-13 08:52:57
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That assures everyone E, that you're not leave Thoughts. :)
Glad to have you in the writers' season. Keep on writing!
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Posted by EasyBev
on 2008-10-13 11:32:41
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Hello Easybev I am not leaving not even close... Thanks for visiting!
E
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Posted by Evetspordlaw
on 2008-10-13 15:23:17
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First and foremost, I'm definitely glad that you found Thoughts. I always admire and thoroughly enjoy your writings, no matter what the nature of the topic may be. You have such a vivid imagination, and such a great way of desciption, I always feel that I can picture clearly what you are speaking about.
I'm glad that you realize mistakes in the past, and that you are more willing to change those and make for a better future for your family and friends. My best wishes go to you and your family! :). I hope that once you're home, that you never leave Thoughts, even if it's merely dropping in to say hello! This place is definitely like a second family!!
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Posted by brlracincwgrl
on 2008-10-14 08:54:51
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AHHHH Ashley I love you see your beautiful picture grace my humble writings! And you can guaratee I will be here until they shut Thoughts down or I die... I hope the later happens first!
E
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Posted by Evetspordlaw
on 2008-10-14 13:59:51
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