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| where does the Loyalty Lie?
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where does the Loyalty Lie? ive come to realize that family will treat you just as bad as friends and enemies! what the hell was I thinking when I thought they were different! you try to do your best to love them with all that is in you and then you see them for what they are and thats the sad part, you dont know what it is you see! im a very loving person and thats my down fall for the most part! i allow people to run a over me until ive fucking had enough then its to late because i want nothing more to do to you! i try to be there for others like i want them to be there for me but where does the Loyalty Lie? what was i thinking when i ever thought that they would be to me what i am to them! im going to be me no matter and what makes it so bad is that now that i have it out in the open and ive said all this, in the end i'll still be there for them because thats the person i am! im that chick that likes to see the good in people even when they giving me the bad! even when they keep tossin they bullshit in my lap and calling it "lifes drama" even when i tell them i need them and they brush me off for some bullshit thats going to hurt them in the long run! even when i let them know that im a having a rough time see thats that bullshit! but where does the Loyalty Lie? i was taught never to put trust in man and ive allowed myself to do it so many times! ive allowed myself to fall victim to the day to day bull shit that their life brings! ive allowed theirr burdens to become my own! ive allowed them to drag me into the world that doesnt give a shit rather i love, live or lie! ive givin them the power to make me feel weak, to make me feel guilty, to make believe that they gave a damn either way! what ive come to realize is that no matter what they will be them! where does the Loyalty Lie? what was going through my mind to make me believe that they cared as much as i do. yeah they say they love me but if they knew me like they think they do then they'ed know that i believe in actions! words are bullshit to me! i can tell them anything that i want them to believe and im good at making them believe it! but my actions say what my soul cants! where does the Loyalty Lie? see it took me a while to see them at face vaule and now that i do, ill never take them at face value! thats the part that drives me wild because i wanted to believe that they were more then what they are but they arent and never will be! thats cool for them and for me! im just mad that it took me so long to see! where does the Loyalty Lie? they treat strangers better then they treat family and that says alot about their chacter! see when i say family i dont always mean blood! what ive come to realize is that blood doesnt always bond a family! family isnt always the ones that you have grown up with but its that ones that you "believe" are true to their word! but you have to be aware that their word can be bullshit! it can be the reason that you find yourself in the middle of a battle with blood and family! it can be the reason that you take the bull shit thats dished out to you! beaware of those around you, beaware of those that you call family! beaware of those that say they love but NEVER show you through actions but only speak words!~ BeAWARE! but always question where does the Loyalty Lie?!
this was writtin for a choosen few and their names have been changed to "them","they" and "their"! i leave you this....if your pissed when ready this, then this is for you! if your questioning your loyalty to me then this is for you! if you are checking your actions and your words towards me then this is for you! if you took this at face value this is for you! if you read this and said wow! then this isnt for you! if you truley believe that you have been there for me like i have been there for you th this isnt for you! love you all...Smmoches me!
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Posted by Ev on 2007-09-25 22:31:47 | Rating: | Views: 87
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I truly identify with you. Sometimes it's safe to assume that the only true loyalty, is the loyalty you have in regards to yourself. Look on the bright side, you are a strong and confident woman, who knows what will make you happy. Hope things improve for you and you shed yourself of the "bullshit". :)
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Posted by tranquil_gala
on 2007-09-25 22:52:31
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I have 4 sisters.
Enough said.
I have been there.
Writing and getting it out helps alot.
I wrote so many blogs about one of my sisters...she read them too.
We kind of had a blog war for awhile.
I finally surrendered.
White flag...now I hide from her.
I know...I know.
Peace.
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Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2007-09-25 23:46:57
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