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Sleep eluded me this past night, I woke at 7 AM Monday, and the planned day went in every direction except the one outlined. Then late last night I was caught up in a writing project that begin at midnight (what a brilliant idea) and when I looked at the clock it was 4:30 AM today, Tuesday. Exhaustion is the optimum word here; but, I am submitting an entry that I wrote in my writing journal tonight as my thought process continues to be stuck in the same mode as yesterday.

May 6, 2008 - Tuesday

At times I ask myself why out of the liquid darkness, in that instant before life begins must the peace we felt in our warm abyss end; as the gulf of life flows forward we transfer into living breathing things that within time have the power to give cause for existence but do we ever completely understand.

My journey in this life has taken me from the innocence of the spiritual world where I lived before my birth into the valley of life where I stumbled searching for the purpose for which I exist. My quest continues for the path that will lead me to a place where I do not desire perfection but an understanding of how to get closer to that which is perfection.

I have accepted my life based on a spiritual faith that I was not the master engineer; yet I continue to be mystified as to how the past chapters of my life were written and remorseful that I cannot return to change the scenes that brought me unhappiness.

This is of course impossible; so I find that in the now of my life my desires for comfort, success and love have diminished from those of younger years; but I am unwilling to accept that I cannot still quicken my steps on the path that will take me beyond that which I wish to forget and spirit me away to a place where I can just be…

I have ask only one thing of those who know me well, family and friends; to accept me for whom I am at this moment and who I am trying to become as my life is still in the evolution of life; and I work and study each day to bring understanding to the many levels of existence before the last chapters of my life are written.

Peace and Regards,
Annie O.

©Endlessthreadsoftime2008