Background: I moved away from home as soon as I was able to. My mother and I never got along, no matter what I did to please her. Half of me appreciates my mother and knows how hard it must have been to raise me alone, but the other half knows that she could have gone about it in a different manner...essentially she could have been a nicer person. She has always had a temper and will let the fury out before even taking a breath to think about it.       
         I was on the other end of that fury for the first 18 years of my life. Then once I moved out, we only talked about once in awhile, mainly because it wasn't a "how was your day" conversation...all she did was yell to me about everyone else and how hard her life is, etc. I have always bore her weight on my shoulders, but I still love her and still call her and still get hung up on when I don't say the right thing at the right time. She is my mother, I'm supposed to love her.
          She's had trouble with money and jobs, not because she's irresponsible...she's quite the opposite. Very thrifty and usually responsible, but as of late, she has lost a job. She has had trouble finding another reliable job for months now, and has gotten to the point where she can not pay her bills, and will be bankrupt. I have tried to give her money in the past, but I am on my own and don't make that much to spare. She now is going to loose her apartment too. (One problem with money with her, is we never know if she really has it or not. She'll cry that she's broke and then blow $300 on something that wasn't actually needed. Or that she's loosing her apartment if she doesn't get money and then she's fine even though no one gave her money.)
           If she really does loose her apartment, I would feel obligated to have her move with me. My new husband and I live in a small apartment but she's my mother...I would have to, I love her even the way she is.
          Here's the problem...how do I keep my mother and my husband? I know niether would leave me, but it would cause so much strain. If I had the money to give her so she could pay all her bills I would, but I don't have it. We could move all our computer/music equipment into the dining room I suppose, but then there's her temper. She will yell and fight, and be disgusted with me....I don't clean every day or cook, I like to relax once in awhile. She will eventually yell at him, I know it...since she will get used to him. She will yell at me which will upset him. He has even told me in the past that my mother is NEVER moving in with us....he hates the way she is, the way she treats me, and the way I cry because of her. I can't say no though, I won't offer unless I have to, but if she asks I can't say no. I don't even want to tell him whats going on. He will get upset about the thought and immediatley say no. How to I keep my mother and my husband happy without loosing my sanity!?