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I've spent so long stressing over my mother and her horrible decisions. Annoyed and hurt by her, but still giving in and helping her as much as I can...without giving her money anymore. Finally this week it might be over! Just a few more days, and then until the next dramatic fiasco. She found a place to move into, but she needed me to confirm her moving people, truck, etc. I did, and this weekend she's moving. It turns out I have that say off....I really wanted to lie to her and tell her I worked, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. She went on and on about how if the movers don't finish in the alloted time, SHE'LL have to go UP AND DOWN the stairs herself. So I'll help her, hopefully it will be the last time this issue will come up, but knowing her it won't be. She won't make money at this new commission based job, and then be complaining she can't pay her bills, and once again I'll try to find her a job, only to have her accept another commision job that won't pay her anything. The bad news...she's moving about 5 minutes away and expects to see me more. She stayed here for over 2 hours tonight on the internet, I just wanted to go to bed and enjoy my first day off after closing 3 nights in a row....now tomorrow I have to go back to work....then my next day off will be helping her move. Which means her yelling at me. As I read over this, it sounds like I like this....since I keep going back, but I just can't abandon her, not a few months after the rest of my family, including my sister, rightfully did so. I'm stuck with her....until I learn to be mean and say no.
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Posted by Embers on 2008-03-05 01:50:29 | Rating: | Views: 56
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hi embers!
I know you love your mother so deeply.
I just want to share my blog about mother stories. The title is "read through your eyes and listen to your heart."
Im sure you will have tears all over your face after reading it.
Take care!
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Posted by mypost
on 2008-03-05 02:11:40
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Saying NO isn't being mean, no matter how much it feels that way. For you it heralds the transference of the reins of control from her hands to yours.
It's hard. I know I've been through this turmoil all my life with my mother, and although I say no a lot nowadays, it's still not as much as I should. We want approval, we want a peaceful life... we want, yearn for a loving word, a hug that just doen't come, or comes with price tags attached. Believe me, I know how it goes.
Have a look in my blog... you'll see the theme of my mother coming up again and again... but I've taken control now... it's just the ghosts I'm dealing with really. You will too... don't mistake these clearances for weaknesses... rather they make us stronger... and the more you share, the more diluted the pain becomes. Until one day you'll reach evening and realise you've not had a bad thought or worry about her... and when you do that... raise your glass to me, and I'll raise mine to you, sweet soul.
May the beauty of your individuality and strength of character shine through. Blessings, Merlyn xxx
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Posted by Merlyn
on 2008-03-05 14:51:21
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