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| Ugh... |
Wow, I've been feeling really sad lately. My self-esteem has dropped to such a low I don't know if I can ever recover it again. Life really sucks right now.
This morning when I looked in the mirror I said, "You're a fat pig. Why do you even exist? You don't deserve to eat, or to live. You should just go hide in a corner." Every word sounded so true to me I started crying.
I've decided to cut back on what I eat. From now on, I'll eat half of a seving. For example: say a certain type of cereal uses one cup as a serving. So I'll pour it into a half-cup instead, because that would be half a serving. It should cut my calories in half. Actually, more than half, because I usually eat more than one serving of everything. The less I eat the less fat I get.
God, I'm so sad! I hate being upset all the time. Everything I say comes out negatively. I try to avoid conversations about clothes or exercising because it makes me cry. When my friends give me compliments it makes feel bad because I think that they're just saying that because they're my friends. It's stupid logic, but that's the way it is. I put myself down constantly. Maybe I deserve it.
Maybe I'll try to post a picture of myself on here so you can see what I mean. I'm ugly no matter what I wear, or how much make-up or eyeliner I put on myself. I always look like crap. You might as well see for yourself.
Comments? Please write them here. I need advise and guidance.
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Posted by Emberfoot21 on 2008-11-28 14:26:53 | Rating: | Views: 145
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