So I basically completed my move this weekend. There are still a couple items I need to get, but I'll worry about that next weekend. Once I have those few items I'll be able to fully un pack. Once everything is put away, I'll be begin to hang art work and photos and put the last finishing touches like candles and such around the apartment.

Last week I came down to look at the apartment before signing the lease. It seemed so much smaller then the model and it sent me back to my state of depression. With all the furniture in place it looks bigger.  I have very poor perception at judging depth and size. While in some respects I'm excited to move because I wasn't happy at my other place, I know I'll be saving money, and most of my friends and all of my family are down here, so I'm down here so much it would only make sense that I move back.

The pros and benefits fully out weigh the cons of the situation, but I'm still not happy and I feel like I've failed because I wasn't able to sustain myself in my last place. I haven't gotten a raise in over a year at my job, and the last raise I did get it was only because I threatened to go to another department (I'm still regreting not going). I can't help but wonder how independent am I really. Am I relying on my family to much emotionally. If I took a job in another bordering state or across the country could I survive on my own.

Maybe once the entire apartment is completed I'll feel much better about the situation.