My daughter H and I had a long talk last night with Ozzy sitting at our feet. I listened to her story about what went wrong with her boyfriend and all I can say is that I'm happy and relieved that she chose to leave. It was time and I'm glad he revealed himself to her now instead of later. Nothing horrific, but living with a 33 year old who still acts like a frat boy just doesn't work.
Of course, he wants H back. He called and texted her non-stop since Sunday and yesterday, I drove her to the house they shared with another couple and he apologized to her and to me through tears. I am not immune to tears and we both felt sorry for him, but he needs to grow up. He's going nowhere fast and said he'd do anything to prove to H that he's changed. Words nice to hear, but H wasn't budging. She took her things out and we will work on moving her bedroom furniture this week. Moving again, Lord help me...well, there was no nastiness on either part and when he apologized to me, I thanked him and wished him the best.
Then, he asked if H could remain with him and he'd take her home...I didn't hesitate a second, "No, I don't think so," I said and H agreed. They both needed time to think and there was no friggin' way I was leaving her there and asked if he understood my feelings on that request. He said he did and H seemed relieved. In the car on our way home, she thanked me for going over with her and for being firm.
That was a no-brainer for me, but I didn't say that.
Well, I choose to think of this as a learning experience and a good thing for H. Always better to have these situations happen early in a relationship rather than going along with the current and marrying, having kids when a relationship isn't right.
It is now time for H to regroup, get strong and lay a firm foundation for herself before even thinking of a relationship with anyone. It's hard to move on, but in certain situations, remaining would be a disaster. I didn't have to tell my daughter that, she knew and made the right decision for herself and possibly, for her ex-boyfriend. But, that doesn't mean there weren't tears last night.
I listened, comforted and supported and hugged H through her tears last night. Ozzy did his best to entertain H and we now call him the Dalai Lama :) An ending is never easy for anyone with a heart and she has a beautiful heart. So, we go on.
It's a chilly, drizzly, gray morning this morning. A bit dreary, but we will go over to collect her clothes today and then, come home and start a great big fire to warm us and our hearts up. I am happy to have H home and I know she feels a bit displaced at the moment and a little off balance. I pray that with time, my daughter will remember that this is her home, too and that in time, she will forget the past and that God will present her with the man who she is supposed to share her life with.
That is my prayer today. Of course, I also pray that God protects all my children and me, too. And, I pray that He protects all of you and yours, as well.
Peace and love.
E
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