With all the betrayal, loss of trust and a general sense of unsettle, I have felt lost and a bit uneasy. I fall into that state of emptiness where I find life pointless and then I don't know what I want to do in life and if there's any reason of being here - esecially when I have no base. I think when I have friends they become my 'base'. By base I mean... support group? people I can turn to that will always be there and that I am so open nd comfortable with. (Though this leads to the topic of can you be so open to everyone and doesn't everyone just have a slice of you unless they are so close, such as you boy/girlfriend that they see every side of yo and really know you? But I will discuss this in another blog.)

 Looking at the big picture as I always do when I am reflecting, I know that my fear of not knowing is ill-placed as i know i'll be ok. I know I will/can survive anything and that God(or whatever senes of power you believe in, the energy of life the universal calling as that mentioned in Paulo Coehlo's 'The Alchemist') will always provide the means for me to be safe and following the path I really want. I know I just have to listen to my heart and intuition/instinct - and I know this sounds corny but its so true! And I dont know where this sense of knowing comes from but I have always had it... and it's always worked.

I'm reading Rene Egli's 'The Lol2a Principle' and the part about fear. He says 'If this trust [in God, life or whatever you want to cal this power] would exist, there would be no fear'. and it's true. I always feel at peace when I take a moment to think - and remember that I trust in that power. Take note that I do not mean I give up the responsibility of my actions or what I do. I don't just sit back and wait for things to happen for me. I am still in charge/control of my life. Whatever happens in my life is my fault/doing; a result of what I chose. I just trust in the fact that the power of what you erally want/God (whatever you believe in) will provide the opportunity and way for you to do what it is you really want to do. The opportunity is there, you are just the force to steer yourself in that direction.

Everything happens for a reason ... though there is 'good' and 'bad' things that happen... they are not really 'bad' in the way that wemay first perceive it. On reflection you realise the experience adn what it taught you.