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| Why do we choose our friends?
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Have you ever wondered why you are attracted
to the people you surround yourself with?
Are they shy, outspoken, rude, always happy, constantly sad,
half empty glass? or half full.
Do they talk your ear off, or do you do all the talking?
Are your friends predominantly male or female? Is it an equal relationship?
In the past I have pondered why I had the friends that I had, and when some went by the way side, why I felt a loss or alternatively felt relief that they went back to being just an acquaintance.
Today a friend got me thinking about it, and I've got a few thoeries, such as ;
"like attracts like"
"opposites attract"
'Sexual Chemistry (Lust)"
or like in the kids movie ROBOTS,
"See a Need, Fill a Need."
I am sure there are alot of scientific or
theoretical reasons but do you really think about it?
Often we only wonder when realise we really care about
the people we consider friends.
You know .... what is it that keeps us coming back ..
What about the mate that you choose?
For me foty was initially like attracts like and pure chemistry.
We both played basketball, both refereed the game & we both loved similar things.
Then as we grew, we became more like opposites attract,
I became committed to the family we started,
he wanted to maintain the DINK (Double income No Kids) lifestyle,
but we still had the chemistry.
Relationships in my life still fit into these categories.
My friends vary, and if I look closely I'd say alot of
my true friends fit into at least two categories.
When I'm relating to my next potential mate,
we will definitely have to share CHEMISTRY, and LIKE attracting LIKE.
What do you think?
You know I love your thoughts,
please feel welcome to share them with me.
xx
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Posted by EasyToSay on 2008-08-08 04:55:11 | Rating: | Views: 193
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I have never heard of the word "dink" other than when I have asked my Mother on occasion "whats Dad up to"? she would reply "Oh, your Dads dinking around"...meaning hes pretending to "fix" stuff around the house. When in essence hes hiding from her.
Tim and I for the most part are complete opposites. He's educated, me I'm dumb as a hammer. He enjoys sports, sports don't do a thing for me. Those are just a few of our differences. What really got me was that he likes his sandwiches dry such as I do, no mayo, mustard(yuck) or any other condiment on our sammies. It's hard to find a man that likes a dry sandwich.
On a serious note hes a wonderful man. Kind, thoughtful and most importantly he excepts my flaws. I still have to pinch myself from time to time that I lucked out the second time around.
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-08-08 07:47:21
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It's tough for me to answer that really... I have so many different intersts and so many different types of friends. I have friends that completly disslike each other. And like you I have different things that attract me on different people. I have some friends that can pull off certin things that another one could not, be it a way of dress, to an attitude. So really I am attracted to all different types of people. It's a tough one to answer.
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Posted by DouglasMB
on 2008-08-08 07:54:36
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Good grief "accepts" see what I mean?
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-08-08 08:54:30
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Hmmm...good question. Like with LadieGodiva, as soon as we started talking the more we realized we had in common. In some ways, we are SO much a like that I could swear that she is more of a sister to me than my actual sister!
But I have decided that I'm gonna be a little smarter about who my friends are, after the stuff I went through earlier in the year, I wanna make sure that the people I call my friends will put as much into the friendship as I do.
Once again, good question!
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Posted by Mandie142
on 2008-08-08 09:26:51
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well with my friends i usually go for someone who has the same interest as me so we can do things together. and with my friend Takuma who lives in Vancouver Canada, he is very quiet lets me do all of the talking, however liz, whom i recently talked about in a blog is very talkative and always wants her point to be heard, very loudly. Greg, verginia D.C, is talkative and laid back he skateboards and does all of the things that i would never do. and now that im writing so much about my friends i wonder wether i act differently around each of them. am i takuma around liz, am i liz around takuma? who am i myself with.... i guess ill never know.
But with friends i never give more than 3rd chances if i tell you something i dont want you to tell other people and you tell 20 then im going to reconsider wether your my friend or not....
i have no idea what i really rambled on and on about but i really liked the question if it got me to be liz!!!
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Posted by dylancool2
on 2008-08-09 02:04:02
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Dylan... love your response here. You have such a great approach! You want to be Liz???? lol... nah just be you. Because you are Dylan - Cool!!! :)
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-08-09 02:05:47
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I pick my friends very carefully. With Mandie-it was easy, we have the same morbid sense of humor, and a common denominator (guy) in both are pasts. That just sealed the deal. But, I'm getting off topic, basically Mandie was an exception to the hoops and leaps people have to make in order for me to consider being friends with them.
For example: I meet a friendly person, is nice to me-but talks only about herself 100% of the time. Um, pass or as MTV goes, "NEXT".
Example Two: They let me in on their personal issues slowly and guage how far they should continue by my reaction. This is good, I can work with this.
When it comes to friendships for me-I need to know that I can fully trust you and that you would do anything for me just to be nice (because that is how my friends and I are-need a shirt? Take a shirt. Very give and take. It's basically like a members only thing with me, always has been. There are different levels of friendship.
If I see you start at the bottom and work your way up respectfully, honestly and caringly-then you are in.
Very complex question, very complex answer that I should really not be writing at the moment as my sleeping pills have kicked in....nighty night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bit. xoxo LG
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Posted by ladiegodiva
on 2008-08-09 02:51:09
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Hey LG, you are dead right with the need to earn the title of friend.
And yes there are definitely different levels of friends. . I think there is even a theory about it. Something about the 7 circles of friends.
Great answer by the way, I hope the sleeping pills kick in. but I'm glad you commented before they did, because I think you have expressed what I was trying to get at so much more concisely.
xx
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-08-09 03:15:45
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I thought it was the 7 circles of hell...oh wait...different scenario...never mind! I've actually never really thought about why my friends are my friends. It's not something I can define. The common denominator, though, is heart. All of my friends have heart. Oh, and they make me laugh AND they get my jokes! LOL
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Posted by BootLady
on 2008-08-09 09:31:59
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I have different kinds of friends. Some are those who share my faith and are very important to me. Some are friends from way back so I don't have to explain things to them. Some are new and I like them just cause they are good, kind and funny people. As we grow older, it's harder to make new friends which is why my new friends on Thoughts are special. Whoever they are, without them life would be pretty dull. Happy friendships Easy
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Posted by overthehillandfar...
on 2008-08-09 11:49:50
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Alright Easy, You have some good points but I think my biggest issue has always been defining what "Friends" are. I grew up with 3 siblings and my parents always pretty much expected us to be friends and I guess the way my siblings can be trusted and be there for me I dont think I have ever found that in any of my friends yet. I find that when choosing friends, it is important you have things in common otherwise it is much more difficult to maintain the relationship. I have had many "friends" that have basically ended up losing touch because of our different lifestyles and even different cultures. I come from a middle eastern family where life has been very tough, there was no coasting throught anything where as alot of people I know who were "friends" live this careless and carefree lifestyle and that is why we could not see eye to eye most of the time on most issues. Relationships are the same, Like attracts like will last longer but there has to be chemistry otherwise it will simmer out like everything else. There definitely has to be the underlying foundation before it is a successful relationship.
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Posted by Dancer78
on 2008-08-09 14:28:26
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I choose my friends bc they talk to me at 530 in the morning....Know anyone like that???? LOL
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Posted by dreampower
on 2008-08-09 21:20:10
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