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While I'm blogging tonight, I'm also transferring video footage from my old video camera tapes to VHS tapes. Old fashioned I know.
There is some really cute cute footage of Miss 8 and Master 5 when it was Miss 5 and Master 2, reading a picture book. Even back then Miss 8 was the book worm, with Master 5 being more satisfied by continually looking at pictures of cars, trucks, helicopters and planes. Well basically anything that goes!!
Then the tape switches to our last family trip to Queensland. Which was in 2006, the year before foty walked out for another. The footage was sooo cute. Miss 6 touching the star fish at SeaWorld, Master 3 splashing in the "petting" rock pools. I am usually the one capturing all this. I am like your typical tourist, video camera in one hand, digital camera slung around my neck. So I don't normally get in the footage.
However in the segment I just watched, foty obviously has the camera.
First there is about two minutes of foty walking behind me. I am pushing the pram with Master 3 in it, and Miss 6 is walking next to me. All is well. Until Miss 6 walks off to the side and foty continues video'ing my butt.
Yes he is videoing me! I even wander slightly to one side, and he moves the camera to catch me, while Miss 6 has gone in the opposite direction.
Great right! So he used to like my butt! No secrets there, he used to tell me that! ... Why is it confusing? Well because when we were in Queensland that year, he'd started his affair. He even got alot of text messages while we were away... but always put it down to "work" needing his input.
Anyway the footage goes to Miss 6 patting a star fish in the rock pool, and Me holding Master 3.
Then low and behond he zooms in on my cleavage. And that particular day I must have had a push up bra on because there is a decent cleavage to be seen. Now I am not bragging, I am an average size lady in the bra department. But a push up bra does wonders even for those of us who are average sized. You know the old saying ... No actually I won't go into that here! 
Anyway so the camera is focused on my breasts while the kids are patting star fish.
Once again I say WTF!?
I guess you can have your cake and eat it too, at least for awhile.
A friend had a theory on this. He may well have stayed with both of us forever, me being ignorant to what was going on. But it must have been her pushing him to put up or shut up. You know, the good old Leave Your Wife or I'm leaving you.
Of course all speculation, but it just brought back the holiday, and how blissfully (??) happy I was to be away with my family. It was October 2006, we'd purchased a new home, and were moving in November 30th 2006.
The only care in the world I had in this video footage was which ride to go on next with the kids.
Four months later, he moved out for a week, citing he was confused whether he was in love anymore, Six months later, he'd moved out for good. 10 months later I find out he's been having an affair with JS from his work.
Hmmmm maybe I shouldn't have decided to transfer this footage yet.
But hey, we need to face these things head on.
Easy ... reflective but good... OUT |
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Posted by EasyToSay on 2008-07-17 07:27:56 | Rating: | Views: 98
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One very vivid memory of my ex was on our last holiday together. I remember falling asleep on the plane and L waking me up by kissing me tenderly on my cheek. At the time he was in the middle of a very intense affair. I often think about and wonder what it meant. He also frequently said to me 'Mouse, we will collect our pension together, won't we? I truly believe he wanted us to stay together once he had got the hunter bit out of his system. I was wise to go and so are you, but I have no doubts whatsoever that he loved you and probably still does.
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Posted by overthehillandfar...
on 2008-07-17 07:41:05
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Old pictures and video are not good to look at I think when they can stir such memories, but just think that the kids were happy and make that enough maybe for now
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Posted by whiteknight
on 2008-07-17 08:03:44
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He made the wrong choice! He will regret leaving his family one day.
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Posted by slowtolearn
on 2008-07-17 09:14:59
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I think there are men out there that do not cheat. There are still good people, he is just not one of them. He was obviously still attracted to you, that was not the issue. It was something within him that liked the newness of a relationship, I think he will repeat the pattern in time. You will win in the end.
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Posted by prelude2it
on 2008-07-17 09:20:24
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Wow. Men are pigs. But your right, he had is cake and ate it too. That's what a lot of them want. It's good to reflect. You'll see how much better off your life will be!
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Posted by KarKar
on 2008-07-17 10:35:59
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This speaks volume about your strength to be able to view the tapes and write so pragmatically about what was going on. You are a very strong woman!
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Posted by TheAlreadyJaded
on 2008-07-18 11:21:28
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