All coffees were drunk (literally drunk!!! lol) in-office today wtih the coffee machine that's just been installed. It is pretty good, unless you over do it.
So for me there was no chance to run into KevinBacon lookalike at the corner cafe.
I declined his offer of meeting for coffee.
Partly because I was far too busy at work and partly because I knew I had to tell him I don't want to do this anymore.
I know if he was someone I really wanted to see then I'd make time.
I don't make time for him because well that's self explainatory.
But all the same, I had to put a stop to it, with all the emails he'd sent me.
I counted them today, before I deleted them. He'd sent me 30 emails,(in the space of 3 weeks), some were joke, some were just back and for replies for coffee "dates" but most were him complimenting me, similar to what I'd posted in a previous blog. That doesn't include the text messages I've received.
But anyway I put off calling him all day. I'd decided, thanks to comments received that over the phone would be my compromise to telling him. I didn't really want to email or text him to say it, and I definitely didn't want to do it face to face.
It was true what someone said, how would I feel if I got asked to go out for coffee, just to be told "Sorry I don't want to see you again." And I am really conscience of other's feelings, and honesty is high on my list.
So anyway, I was driving home listening to my i-Pod but I wasn't really hearing the songs. What I had to do was on my mind. So I turned off the music and dialled his number.
As it went to voicemail, I hung up.
I thought about leaving him a message, but thought better of it.
Then as I arrived at my Mum's to pick up Master 5, he texted me asking me to call him, he'd just missed my previous call.
I chickened out. I grabbed Master 5 and drove home.
Once at home I tried his number again, straight to voicemail.
Finally half an hour later I get through.
"Hey, how are you?" He says sounding happy to hear from me.
"Good thanks, how are you?" I reply, less than enthusiastic.
We start talking small talk, he's doing something in his car, with the speakers. Asks how work was, starts mentioning the week-end. This is where I cut in.
"Hey," I say interupting. "I don't want to sound presumptious..."
"Oh right..." He cuts in.
"But I just need to let you know that I just don't feel the same way about you, that you seem to feel about me."
"Right...." he says making me feel like I need to say more.
"You are a great guy, and I had fun on our dates, but I just don't feel how I should feel, if we are to continue dating."
"Okay, that's cool." He says sounding disappointed.
I felt bad here, and probably just should've said something like have a nice evening, bye. Instead I go on.
"I just wanted to be honest with, with all the compliments in your emails. I don't want you to think I am leading you on." I follow on with.
"That's cool." He says. "I just write how I feel, and well then people tell me how they feel."
The more the conversation went on the more awkward I felt. He wasn't trying to joke, like he usually did, but he seemed like he wanted to keep talking. Honestly I was trying to think of a good farewell.
I was tempted to say something like I can still meet you for coffee or we can be friends, but I knew that would just be me trying to make it better for him.
I told him that I wanted to let him know since when we went on our first date he'd taken his profile off the dating site. He told me he was sick of the whole dating scene anyway.
Master 5 who had been playing the Wii all of a sudden started yelling to me. I think he heard Master 5, well at least I hope he did, because I used him as my escape.
I ended the conversation with something lame like,
"Well I guess I'd better go, and I'm sorry."
He said,
"Oh it's okay, and it's cool, and bye."
So I did it.
I felt relieved, but at the same time bad for him.
But as someone pointed out he's an adult, and I'm not the first person to do it to him, and probably won't be the last. Ahhhhhhh I feel such a weight lifted.
oh and the guy I blocked on MSN, FACEBOOK and my mobile .... sent me an email today...... asking why? and had he done something wrong!?
This time I'm not replying 
Easy Out
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