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| Preface - End of my marriage
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I've decided to put it all down in writing. I want one day for my children to understand what happened. I want to learn from the mistakes that happened and grow, I want to be able to trust again.
I intend to write the events that I saw were the start of the end of my marriage. I don't blame myself, it was something that in the back of my mind was always going to happen. Maybe it was meant to be this way..
We were teenage sweet hearts. We started "dating" when I was 17 and he was 16.
We met when he had a girlfriend, and although attracted to each other I was very vocal that I would not let him cheat on his partner of the time - her name was Fleur.
He set me up with one of his friends, so that we could all go out together. The old three's a crowd thing wasn't going to work.
Eventually he broke up with her, and I with the nice guy I was dating.
We kissed on May 15 1987 - and he said "Ah so, do you want to make it official?"
That's when we started going out.
We saw each other every spare minute for the first six months, had looong telephone calls, went to parties, movies, etc.
I was even his first sexual partner. I'd had sex once before - which wasn't what I'd call a great experience... I guess your first time isn't always great is it?
Then he went overseas with his family for 6 weeks - I partied hard with friends ... and I cheated on him with two differnt guys over the duration. When I say cheated I mean - I kissed two different guys - which was all that happened.
He wrote me letters every day, and missed me terribly. I missed him, but I wasn't moaping around for him. I confessed my unfaithfulness and he let it be known I hurt him badly. I felt bad, and wanted to make up for it.
He cheated on me a few times - to even the ledger I guess. I got over it each time he did it and for some reason I still wanted to be with him.
We married at 27 years of age, after buying a house together at 25.
We had broken up more than a few times during the 10 year courtship - but usually just as I was moving on and dating again, he'd call and invite me out - I am a sentimental person and couldn't throw away years of history, so we always ended up getting back together.
He called our wedding off 8 weeks prior to the date. He didn't want to get married he said, he just wanted to live with me - to him marriage was just a piece of paper.
To me it was a commitment to stay with that person 'until death do us part'. I also didn't want to have kids out of wedlock. So we broke up and moved back to parents home. I worked on amicably settling our house that we'd purchased a year or so earlier.
Then he took me to dinner on what would have been the actual day, and he proposed again.
I said Yes.
We were married on the 8th March 1997 .... ten years later two weeks prior to our 10th anniversary, with a family consisting of an 8 year old daughter and a 4 year old son, he told me he wasn't in love with me anymore.
He said He loved me - but wasn't IN LOVE anymore. He said I was his best friend and he was physically attracted to me and always would be. But he didn't think we should stay together if he wasn't in love. This came totally out of the blue for me - and the news was devastating.
........ Chapter 1 - "The text messages" will be posted soon....
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Posted by EasyToSay on 2008-02-03 16:04:46 | Rating: | Views: 143
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| Blog Comments
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I'm glad you are deciding to put all this down. I hope it will help you move on with your life and truly enjoy it. You seem like a very nice person.
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Posted by HungryHeart
on 2008-02-04 00:14:54
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Stopped by to see how you're doing. You are such a wonderful writer. Your words convey much feeling and emotion. Your decision to put it all down in writing should bring clarity and healing. You are a girl who possesses a sweet and beautiful soul. I feel so bad for all your going through. Sending along lots of comforting hugs, prayers and positive thoughts. Peace.
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Posted by ColoradoDreamin
on 2008-02-04 01:35:14
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