It was only a matter of time before the topic of conversation at Miss 9 & Master 6's school was "the Swine Flu" or as it is also known the "Pig" flu. I guess it is also a topic of interest in our house since Master 6 is currently unwell. Being the vigilent parent I've been keeping an eye on him, and being the over reacting parent I've been calling Kaybee anytime anything weird crops up.
Like last night Master 6's ears were hot, not only were they red, but they felt hot, and he was complaining that they were annoying him. After a quick call to Kaybee between us we eliminated everything else except windburn from the icy morning he spent at Auskick on Saturday morning.
Master 6 had today off school after a case of the "I dont knows" this morning. He did go to bed last night complaining of a head-ache and when I checked on him this morning he wanted his wheat bag re-heated. When it was time for him to get up every question I asked was met with a sad voice saying "I don't know."
"How do you feel mate?"
"I don't know."
"Do you want to go to school today?"
"I don't know."
"Would you prefer to go to Nana's?"
"I don't know."
In the end I decided for the teachers sanity, the health of the others in his grade and for his welfare a day with Nana was on the cards. I couldn't take the day off due to only taking one off a few weeks ago for a throat infection he was lucky enough (*sarcasm*) to own.
After work I picked up Master 6, then we awaited Miss 9's arrival at the gate from school. Master 6 started feeling unwell around dinner time and as Miss 9 and I ate he laid on the couch watching "Neighbours". This is when swine flu rumours started to escape.
"Can I get pig flu?" MIss 9 asks quietly.
"Pardon?" is my response.
"Can I catch pig flu?" Miss 9 repeats, but in a tone that indicates she doesn't really want to know the answer.
"Ahh yes you can," I reply waiting with baited breath for her response.
She pauses as she finishes a mouthful of food, then continues with, "Oh, really? I can?"
"Yes you can but why would you want to?" I ask wondering where this was coming from.
"Oh I don't want to .." she trails off as she fixes her gaze on the television.
We eat in silence for a minute or two more before Miss 9 pipes up with,
"If you get Pig flu your eyes bleed out."
"Do they? Who said that?" I asked trying not to laugh or at the least trying not to giggle.
"Sarah, she said your eyes bleed and bleed if you catch it."
"I don't think so, what else did she say?"
"Oh that's all, except that it makes you very sick," again she is distracted by the television.
I don't add anything mainly due to having a mouthful of food myself. I also wanted to see what else she would say. Nothing more is said, but I become paranoid as I hear Master 6 coughing and spluttering.
Once we'd finished tea (dinner) I decide that it would be a good idea to get Master 6's repeat filled on the medicine he had for the throat infection, no I don't normally self diagnose, but his cough seemed a lot the same and he wasn't up to eating, which is always a sign that it's not just a cold.
I drive us to the nearby pharmacy which is not the most reputable of places to be due to their "drug" substitute program. Often there are some less than appealing characters waiting for their "fake" drug to subsidise whatever substance they abuse. So I ask the children to wait in the car which is parked directly outside the doors. I place the script in and stand inside the door watching them, who are incidentally watching me.
It's at this point I notice a soft toy PIG sitting on the shelf waiting to be bought, and being such a wicked mother I grab the pig and hold him up to the kids. They both look at me and laugh at the little pig. Okay so I'm in a wacky mood and I kiss the little pig, or more likely he kissed me on the nose with his snout. The kids are watching me as I put the pig back on the shelf and fake choking .... I'm even doing the gurgling sounds - which draws the attention of the only other customer in the store. I tone down the noise but continue to pretend I'm now sick from Pig Flu. The kids are laughing at me and copying me. At which point wouldn't you know it a pedestrian walks past the car and here are the kids holding their necks and sticking their tongues to the side of their mouth.
The pedestrian turns to look my way, I immediately stop doing the choking action and stand up straight. The guy gives me a weird look and keeps walking.
Eventually the script is ready and I come out to the car where they are telling me I'm crazy, of course I remind them they were copying. Then I accidentally turn the window wipers on - it was not raining.
Miss 9 says, "What are you doing Mum, you are crazy."
"It's because I've got pig flu from that darn toy!!"
They both start laughing as I drive off.
Then Master 6 starts singing "Spider Pig, Spider Pig, Spider Pig is sick, does whatever a spider pig does when he's sick."
We all start laughing and head home.
Pig flu has actually closed down about 7+ schools in Melbourne, but fortunately they are on the other side of town to where my children go. I'm sure Master 6 has a throat infection again, not the Swine or Pig Flu. But I tell you Miss 9 was a little worried there for awhile. And dare I say I am feeling it behind my eyes and in my sinuses, thank goodness you cant pass viruses via computer screens... oh wait ! YES YOU CAN .. just not the one I think I'm getting.
xx  xx
hope you are all well
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