Thoughts.com Blogs - O-oh I gave him the site address ......

I think I've done something stupid! I've given Hot Work Guy (HWG) this blogging site address.
He did ask for it - said I had his, so it was only fair that he had mine! I contemplated it for a few minutes as we chatted.

I did want him to know how I felt, but I am not sure that I want him to know how much I think.........
I do want to see him again, but I don't want him to think I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs waiting for him (I'm really not!)
I do want him to get to know me better than just friends, but I would prefer to do this personally.(Like while we hike in the mountains? Or fall over together in the snow! Ha ! Or when we get really drunk one night together and dance like there's no tomorrow!)
I would like to maintain a bit of mystery about me, But I maintain I don't play Games!
And he should know how special he is ... but is it my place to tell him? - without freaking him out?
And he should know how special I really am ... but do my words portray that?

So I gave him the Thoughts.com bit - and he said he'd check it out before he goes to bed - which was 9 hours ago!
Oh and I just realised I also told him that I don't name names but I do refer to him as HWG.
Dead give away? Let's hope not.

But if you are reading this HWG - you will hopefully realise that when I start typing I just put down what's in my head. I am actually on here to get it out of my head. I don't see this as a blogging exercise, I guess it's become more like my on-line diary or journal.
I haven't really described my days and activities or the things I do, but rather what's in my head and heart on any given day.

I'm guessing most guys know how much analysis goes on in a girls head, but when they see it on the screen in this case - do they freak out? Will he read something I've written?

Will HE RUN FOR THE HILLS like he's suggested I do? Or will he think what a truly wonderful, beautiful (and sometimes defeated) soul I have on the inside?

Will he even admit he's read my blogs?
I think he is kind, sweet and honest - but will he read this and freak out on me and decide here and now that I am way too much of a girl for him to want to take the time to get to know?

Oh who knows, I've been sitting here wondering whether to change my name or modify my posts.

Then I decided well if this is all part of who I am and what I'm made up of, then I want him to know.

Because if he doesn't like who I am on the inside then that's out of my control.

But I think he's much deeper than that, and I think he knows me a bit better than that.....