There was a time when I looked forward to my week-ends like a child looks forward to christmas. It was the only time of the week where I got to relax and do things with my family.
Then FOTY shattered my right to have family time on Saturdays.
First he moved out, we agreed that he would see our children on Saturdays.
Initially he came here and spent the whole day with us.
I would go shopping, do what I couldn't do during the week with two in toe.
He'd have lunch with us, often go to the shops with us and sometimes he'd even stay until the kids went to bed. . . Occassionally he'd even stay and watch the footy with me (on Cable (Foxtel) he didn't have it at his apartment) until very late.
Then he decided he needed to take the kids to his apartment for the Saturday, this was hard.
I remember the first Saturday, the kids went excitedly with him.
I sat and cried on my bed for a few hours before dragging myself down to the lake near my house. Where I sat on a bench watching the ducks paddle around without a care in the world.
I was a mess, but with the help of my best friends I started to do things for me.
I set myself up on an internet dating site and met a few guys for coffee's on the Saturdays... This worked well until FOTY started finding "other" more important (than his children) things to do.
I had to cancel a few coffee dates and in the end I stopped making them.
Slowly he got into the groove again, but it was never consistent. We had an agreement he'd be here at 10am and return the munchkins at 5pm. One day he'd be here at 11:30am, the next 12:30pm, only once or twice did he actually arrive close to 10am.
When he left with them (sometimes after alot of persuading!)
I'd go shopping, running, clean the house, anything to keep my mind active.
Problem was he often called me at 4:30pm asking where I was because he was at MY house waiting for me to get there. He had a key at that stage so he would just let himself in - this did not make me feel comfortable.
He's actually spent more Saturdays away from them in the past few months than with them. But this week it's TWO in a ROW ... 3 cheers for FOTY!!!!
Last Saturday (the first "in a row") I had a great day, and again today (2nd week in a row) I did too.
He arrived at 10:25am ... kids were waiting .. as usual. Master 5 didn't want to go with him, but somehow I managed to talk him into it again .. phew!
Finally alone I did two loads of washing while speaking to a great guy.
Then I went and did my grocery shop - not wanting to waste any more time at those shops I zoomed up and down the aisle with my i-Pod in.
* Note to self faster music makes me shop faster!
After having another chat with said guy, I cleaned the kitchen a bit.
I made a card for one of the boys who just had his birthday - he's coming to Master 5's birthday party tomorrow. I was very impressed with my free hand drawing of STINK FLY from Ben 10 .... (note: Master 5 liked my drawing so much that he "insisted" he keep it for himself! Guess I'll be doing more drawing tonight!)
Then I took our dog for a much needed walk for both of us! It was such a great day, we walked around the lake, twice. I decided to go back and get my camera.
No offense here but I am a little bit like a Japanese tourist with my camera.(Love my Digi SLR).
I took a few photos (50 or so!) and then sat and enjoyed the freshness of the air. So fresh that it made my nose tingle a little bit at first. My dog tried to chase a few of the ducks that came to say hello, in the process he splashed me with water a little of the mud at the shore of the lake.
Relaxed and feeling so alive we returned home.
Now I'm not quite sure why I did this, but I stretched and did my weights. I haven't done them for a few weeks, due to my "hormonal" state lately. But I attacked them and felt really good afterwards, mmmm wonder if in a day or so I'll be blogging about how sore I am!
*Note to self : be consistent with the weights.
FOTY texted to say he'd have the kids home in 40mins ... this was at 5pm, shock horror, he's usually here by now!! I took advantage of this extra time and checked my emails.... and had an email from BLUE!! YAY...
Anyway that was my Saturday. As for my Saturday night?? Well they consist of being a MUM to my wonderful kids. And tonight will be no different, except I might get to speak to a really sweet sweet guy again, and Oh I'll get to draw some weird "arse" alien creatures on a 7 year olds birthday card.... Ahhhh that's the life!
Posted by EasyToSay on 2008-04-19 06:11:41 | Rating: n/a | Views: 112
It sounds like a very pleasurable day that you had. I hope that tomorrow goes well for you at the party. And I hope that Master 5 enjoys himself greatly.
Just do me one small favor, try not to let yourself get down, with FOTY not being there tomorrow.
KP - thank you my friend.
Tomorrow although the day of celebration for Master 5, as you know also marks 12 months to the day that he moved out - but I plan on having a great day ... the beginning of a new Year.... a continuation of a new life.
Have you ever thought of having a young girl maybe 11-14 come over some to play with and watch your children when you are home. The little ones love it and you can get tons done with the children taken care of. Then you could save your Saturdays for "just ME, rest and relax" day. No laundry, no grocery shopping.. Just a thought. I do that sometimes when my husband is away. The sitter is usually to young to leave totally so it costs alot less. Yet, even though I am home, I have free time to get alot more done. My neighbor does the same thing with my 11 yr old daughter. She pays her $2-$3/hr just to take care of her 5 yr old while she is home. She gets her projects done without interruption but yet is available to supervise. She even takes her shopping to watch her son in the store. It works great for her as well.
I am so glad you had a nice day either way. Sounds very relaxing at the lake.
I am glad FOTY is spending more time with his children. That just shows me more that the "real world" is becoming his reality.
Have a great day tomorrow and remember in the end it truly is FOTY"S loss.
If mom is strong and stable, children will be just fine in the end. Especially when dad is staying in an active role with them. Hey, how can they not be happy with a mom like you. Your character as a mother says so much about how much FOTY has lost... FOTY,FOTY,FOTY WHAT A LOSS YOU HAVE SUFFERED, AND I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU....
