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Monday started so promising, the air was crisp and fresh. The sky blue but cloudy. Work wise I actually finished a 5 page discovery doco which will really assist me making the project a success (fingers crossed). A few servers went down (3) in my early shift, but I had back up of the Overnight support person. Things were rosy. Even the drive into the office was good (you see I start at home at 6am).
Then I get it ... the phone call from my laywer's assistant. They had the papers.
BUT....
but instead of it being HIS application for Divorce, the Jerk has sent a JOINT APPLICATION for divorce.
Which I think indicates we both wanted the divorce.
(I'm looking into this).
This also means he doesn't have to pay as much.
If he uses the other type where it is his SOLE application, it has to be served on me, and a few more to'ing and fro'ing required = more costs to him.
This method doesn't cost me a cent, again therefore less costs to him.
Which don't get me wrong, at this point in time I'll sign it in blood if I have to! (just a little dramatisation, hold those white coat guys off a bit longer !HAHA)
BUT it's his way of trying to look like on the surface at least that he is NOT the one who caused all this. That he IS a good guy!
And although it's not something you wear on a chain around your neck, I could just imagine him saying - we agreed on the divorce and got a joint application - again sharing the blame of our marriage failure with me.
I don't know, just my opinion.
So they want me to organise a time to just come in and SIGN the papers in front of my solicitor who acts as witness.
I look at my diary .. I'm only busy one afternoon this week ... but what's the rush right??
I'm not engaged and planning my marriage to anybody ....
I don't have any reason to be hasty about this. Plus it is JS's birthday in May - I digress ...
She turned 30 last year, she had a big party. He'd been moved out 1 month and we were still pretty intimate. I know about her party due to "the informer" at their work. So I ask him about it the Saturday morning (day after) when he comes over to see US .. not just the kids cause he stayed until late that night!
He says he didn't go to the party - even though when I drove Miss 8 to swimming that morning in his car, I couldn't help notice his "Party" clothes in a bag in his boot. (ok I went looking!)
He claims they were what he wore to the pub last night with a MATE where they apparently watched the footy. For starters they were nicer than he'd wear to the pub to watch footy! and his team was not one of the two teams who played. He claims he "stayed" at his friends house that's why the clothes were still there!!!!
Then a few months later, a friend finds PHOTO's of HIM & HER at her 30th party on her FACEBOOK!!!! OH yes I confronted him ... and you know what he says .....
"Did you really want me to admit that I'd been there!?"
I torture myself and ask what present he gave her... he says NOTHING ... what a load of crap! You go to a 30th party and buy the person nothing!!! He concedes - says he went in on a pair of earrings with some others at work. I later find out he bought her a diamente necklace, by himself and she is wearing it in the other photo's of them together in her FACE BOOK.
Yerr I feel so much better for him lying to me about it!
Anyway ... back to today ... So I'm thinking if I race in and sign the papers I'll be handing them a "double" celebration - by the time the papers come through they can celebrate her 31st and his Divorce!
Because I'm so sure they WILL be celebrating it - not reflecting on it with any remorse or accountability.
Thinking about it I go through the situation ..... all the financial stuff is taken care of.
We've got a "flaky" agreement about custody & maintenance ($) of the kids..... mmmmm let's see .... I'll call my people back ... later.......
Oh then there is the email response from my sister!!!!! that needs to be it's own blog! honestly I think I need DNA tests to be carried out!
A colleague at work suggests my desk is a pig sty!!! Fortunately he's only kidding, but it gives me a good excuse to not do work for the next 15 mins, and I proceed to put his desk to shame!! LOL - Very funny!
I gain a few extra "cases" in my work queue because my pregnant colleague finishes up this week to have her 3rd child - makes me think back 5 years ago to Master 5's birth .. mmmm not sure I could go back there!!!! LOL
I head to school and get "fresh" aired by a friend - whom I've had a bit of a misunderstanding with .... I later call her and sort it out - cause it really made our mutual mum friends uncomfortable.
Miss 8 and I then proceed to pick up Master 5 who finishes kinder at 4pm on Mondays. I see my "kinder" mum friend who was last week frustrated at looking after Master 5. We have a nice chat and my mind is eased over that situation ... ahhhh another fire extinguished.
So all in all a good day, but you know sometimes I'm tired of having so many little challenges pop up.
Some might call them drama's but they are what they are.
Sometimes I miss having a sounding board here at home who is just "on my side"!!
But in saying that my good friend who is home alone tonight with her kids sent me a text to make sure I was okay, and I got to talk to Geoff for awhile too and these are the things that make me smile again.
Oh and all the positive posts from my friends in here - thank you so much - you guys are all so fantastic and I appreciate having you all here to enjoy(?) my life .. and I yours 
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Posted by EasyToSay on 2008-04-28 10:36:14 | Rating: | Views: 184
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Remember the song? When you're smiling, when you're smiling..the whole world smiles with you :)
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-04-28 11:01:11
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Ah pita - you make me smile .. :)
thank you my good friend
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-04-28 11:11:41
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Ahhhhh that is so funny .. you have definitely made me smile and laugh .. mmmmm .... and given me an idea ...
just kidding .. thank you!
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-04-28 11:20:54
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:) smiling ... smiling :)
I am .. and it's 1:25am in the fucking morning!!! HAHA and I am smiling because you guys are all ACE!!!
I wanna come over there where the smiles are everywhere :) :) :) :)
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-04-28 11:25:51
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Just stay positive and take your time signing the papers.
Keep smiling :)
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Posted by shemelts
on 2008-04-28 11:58:27
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Dear EasyToSay,
I am so sorry for the painful struggles you are having and for your having to be both mommy and daddy to your little ones. You all deserve better. Right now FOTY is sorta there part time for his children but will that change as Miss8 asked when and if he and JS have children together. If it means the possibility of less child support for your children in the future I personally wouldn't accept a "joint request". Afterall, you aren't the one who has cheated, and asked for a divorce. Let him face the truth and get the correct divorce if he wants it so bad. Whats the most he can do, get mad and walk away, not be there for his children. Well, he's already doing that.
I tried to go back and look to see the date when you blogged regarding your last cycle. I know when I get near mine it is harder on me emotionally to endure things. If I remind myself that part of it is hormonal somehow it helps me as I realize that my emotional status will be better in a few days. I know all the pain and pressure is so real and the situation with Miss 8 is heart wrenching but your feelings of being overwhelmed may be worse if it's that girl time. Just a thought... I am praying for you. You have a ton of friends out here. Your a special person and I'd let JS celebrate her 31st WITHOUT divorce papers....
Caring Advise
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Posted by caringadvis
on 2008-04-28 14:06:25
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I don't know that I would accept a joint request although, I know I wanted the divorce enough at one point that I paid to get end it. Take your time, there's no hurry in signing the papers. I would not want to give them any pleasures based on you.
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Posted by prelude2it
on 2008-04-28 19:38:33
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mondays!!!!! who needs 'em?! wait I do, without mondays there wouldn't be monday posts, then I wouldn't be able to read about mondays, then tuesday would be the new monday and............. oh my head hurts now. UUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH MONDAY!!!!
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Posted by tonyrayhutchison
on 2008-04-28 23:40:07
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Hi Easy, my ex also wanted a joint, no fault type of divorce :-) and I don't think SO!!! NOT going to happen and I didn't fall for that crap. I went with fault and he WAS found at fault. Period. He cheated = fault. A tiny victory, but I felt vindicated. It DID cost me more, but entirely worth it! Good luck, smiley !
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Posted by Ellie2008
on 2008-04-29 07:46:34
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Easy, I was tempted to say 'oh go ahead and let him have it and get rid of him'. Then I thought that would be rewarding his selfishness and he will go on thinking he can get everything to go his way. So don't do it. Also, there is something about the joint request which irks me. In future years, you will feel better seeing it in black and white that you were not responsible. When and only when it's all over will you be able to forgive. You certainly don't have to forget.
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Posted by overthehillandfar...
on 2008-04-29 08:50:09
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Stand your ground, Easy! You have time on your side. HE's the one who wants this done quickly. Wait him out long enough and he'll be giving you whatever YOU want just to get it done. Show him that EasyToSay isn't EasyToRailroad!
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Posted by BootLady
on 2008-04-29 09:26:55
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monday????? hey thats my day off and so is tuesday.....heaven sent...... easy honey, so sorry ur having a bad time right now but its almost over ......at least the divorce part and then there will be something new....there always is....thats what makes the world go round..... shit storms....love u
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-04-29 17:59:31
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Hi Easy
I don't think you should give the satisfaction of letting him have it as a joint application. You did nothing wrong, you didn't want this he did, he should be held accountable, and if it hits him in the pocket because it is going to cost more, so be it. It isn't like he has made it easier for you having to pay him out with the house.
Just a thought
KP
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Posted by KP
on 2008-04-30 07:59:08
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