Thoughts.com Blogs - Master 4 turns 5 .... 12 months on

Today (15th April) Master 4 turns 5! He's been just so excited lately, he's even joined in on the "sleeps" countdown that Miss 8 and I started. This of course was only started because he caught a glimpse of his wrapped presents last week and each morning after asked if it was his birthday today.

He's been soooooo cute, and yet my Baby is growing up!
He's growing smarter every day, and I wish for him to have a fantastic healthy life which is not marred by the fact that his Dad is just not there for him.

Todays' turning of age (school age that is) is even more significant to me, as at this time last year when he turned 4, his Dad was planning his escape.

Infact his Dad waited for his only son's birthday to pass, so he could then "move out" ... without his sons birthday being a reminder of what he did.

Unfortunately that's exactly how I remember it.

Now my son's birthday holds even more significance to me than joy and happiness about his birth (although that carries it's own pain .... labour pain!! LOL).
I now recall how on his 4th birthday his Dad, my husband left us forever.
Changed the dynamics of our FAMILY forever.

So today although not the exact date of his departure, brings back the feelings of betrayal, abandonment, deception and more significantly the beginning of my life as a single Mum.

It also brings with it fear that my children will be adversely affected. This being my main concern.

Anyway tonight their Dad comes over to "visit".

He's bringing a shared gift from the both of us, a new BIKE.

We are going out to dinner to Mexican ... because Master 5 loves their Mexican Pizza .... is that right?? Mexican Pizza!?

Well it's his birthday and he can have whatever he wants!

We will go to that restaurant as a family tonight,
onlookers will look at us and think we are a happy family.

JS will NOT be there, FOTY wouldn't dare risk me subtley humiliating his "love" verbally or mentally.

He knows they've done wrong, and I guess it is easier for them to live with what they've done if they don't have to face me in public together.

I plan to make Master 5's birthdays better times for all, and I know this year hurdle still has spikes on it, but one day, in years to come April 15 - 20 will be remembered for something other than how I was let down in 2007.

But for today
HAPPY BIRTHDAY My LITTLE MAN ... HAPPY 5th BIRTHDAY MATE!