I don't know if sabotaging is the way that I would state it, but sometimes would seem easier to just write or say something that would not prolong a relationship. believe me I am no expert on relationships or individuals, however; there are different stages of relationships and different relationships with individuals. As for saying the wrong thing, that is something that has left me wondering what I said long after i have said it.

JimK - you know sometimes I think we do it without even knowing it. Yes it is easier to just stop the relationship - but then we regret it don't we. But hey our expectations are then instantly lowered and we can't be disappointed.

Oh and I know the saying the wrong thing and wondering what was wrong for a long time after..

Thanks JimK I can relate to your thoughts :)

And I thought it was just me! I guess everyone must do that sort of thing, sometimes intentional, sometimes not, probably mostly through insecurity. We all get wild thoughts in our heads, secret is to try and sort out the ones that we really feel and those that are just....dumb and ourselves. Sometimes i reckon i know exactly what i want, then something will happen and doubt sets in. Someone will not do as i expect and i'll go off on something imagining the worst when there is a perfectly reasonable reason.

I think i have found live talk to be most helpful in this, not email, not text, cos all that is how you percieve a situation. With phone calls and face to face its easier to see situations. Face to face is best cos even calls you struggle when you can't see a face.

One thing i do agree with though is letting someone get too close, I sabotage too. I'm not sure if its becxause i don't trust me or i don't trust them to like/love me.

But hey I just muddle through and see what happens lol

Waasyon - YES! Muddle through, sometimes feeling so silly.. And the changing of perspective, I know that one too... boy you have read my mind haven't you!

Yes my friend, I believe a person can subconsciously sabotage their relationships too. Sometimes the person is getting too close too fast and it scares you and other times it's just the opposite - as well as deciding it's just not meant to be.

I agree that IM's and particularly phone calls are really the best on getting to know someone when it's a relationship that has developed from being online. You can at least hear their emotions at work in their voice, their seriousness and true sense of humour as well.

Let's all muddle together. ;) xxx

MrBob, glad you can relate and YES let's muddle together through it .. that sounds like fun.

No it's not someone from thoughts... or online, but yes we communicate via email :)

Have a great week.

xxxxx

Too deep for me today - I'm kind of tired, but I'm sure it's not as bad as you think.

Auntie E, you are right, it's never as bad as we think. Hope you have a great sleep :) I'll email you soon.
xx

Usually the stupid things I say to others are little truths. I just kind of ride the wave. I'm a little thicker skinned than most and sometimes forget others aren't. I wonder if others have thought I was pushing them away? Your blog makes me think about it. Thanks. Another step towards self awareness. Any saddle sores this evening?

Mike,
Lol.. no, no saddle sores! :) Had a nice soak in the bath, so I'm good.
I guess you are right about little truths .. I am thicker skinned too. :)

I think that this friend must find you charming to be emailing you in the first place...He may have read other things you have written (if it's from here, or a place like here) and so he knows something about you already. I bet that he isn't reading what you're writing the same way you are...that's the nature of email...you can't control how someone perceives what you write, because there is no voice and no facial expressions to emphasize your intent. I'm guessing that if he is spending his weekend emailing you, he isn't analyzing every word you put down, but rather he is enjoying the fact that the two of you are talking...I would say, if you are having fun, just enjoy it.

Funfreak, you are very insightful my friend, yes he must - so you are right he wont drop off the side of the earth over a few awkward moments! :) He isn't from here though. We met in life and keep in touch on line :) Just a friend. OF COURSE!
I am having fun. xx

Yep! UH huh. You bet. Took the words right out of my mouth. You mean you do that too I never would have believed that of you Mike. Now you let the horse out of the barm. With all said and done, I still like you Mike. So far I haven't read anything stupid from you. Actually from no one cept little ole guess who?

lol.. Kal .. love it and you dont know how much that name hits home! lol

See! what did I tell you? Actually I did that on purpose so you could see how easy it is to screw up. Just add a wrong name, spell incorrectly too many times, innocently ignore someone because you couldn't get to the computer, on and on. So yeah we all do it. But the silence thing would be way to much for me to deal with. In fact I am about to go in the other room and deal with it again. Wish me luck lol

Hey and no I'm not offended! I'm laughing :) thank you And YES GOOD LUCK ! :)

~ Easy,...ohhh yes i completely understand this one...""foot in mouth"" there's no cure for it and i think we all get it at some point...some of us more often then not hahaha :) ~

Frenchie, yes you are right, maybe we are meant to "muck" up like this to bring out the skeletons or the wrinkles or something!? lol

Tes I've been in that boat, when you just can't seem to say anything right. It always comes out sounding stupid and brain dead. Eventually I learn and just shut my trap until the next time it occurs. Seems like a switch in my head or something gone awry.

As for relationships - yes I believe I deliberately say and do things to keep others at bay. That always leaves me wondering why.

Tony,
Yes we are so similar but I never shut my trap, I usually try to clarify my thoughts/words and well often makes it worse !!!

lol, this blog describes my entire life.

I could go on about this for days, but i would only get missunderstood, or taken in wrong text, and then i would be right back to the start..mouth opened, foot inserted..........doh!!!!!!

Hey Mr WW, I could never misunderstand you. But I do hear what you are saying ((HUGS)) my friend xx

loves ya just the way you are.......................Puck xx

Thanks Mr Puck ... right back at ya xxxx

I wonder if we sabotage relationships because we are uncertain of our feelings at that moment and the other person is not..??? I can't say I have done this in a long time but can remember in my younger years this sense. It is probably a strategy most people have to a larger or lesser extent to safeguard themselves. If you see yourself going down that path, maybe better to stop and ask yourself why. Will have to keep myself aware of this from now on.

It's funny Moxi, because where I am in charge of the relationship, or growing relationship I'm good. But when he tries to control it, or appears too keen well Sabotage! I have to watch myself.