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| Enid Blyton... what was she thinkin'
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At school pickup today one of the Dad's accompanied
his wife to pick up their children.
Now this Dad and Mum are good friends of mine,
and our kids are close, for the most part!
(But that's another story).
These people are the ones I went to Queensland with in March, they've been great for me and the kids since foty went JS. So they know us well, I trust them, and I've told them about my blogging obsession! (What obsession you say!  )
We got talking and I was saying how I actually had fun writing steamy posts, and how sometimes it offends others. Then we got onto the Playboy / Penthouse idea of writing something crass and crude to get it published, hopefully foty will read it and get $500. Which will help pay him out!
Kev denied he had any to help me with my research ...
just the articles folks! lol.
Wendy and I started chatting about how I'd do it,
you know anonymously. Our conversation continued on,
and she recalled a little "old" lady that used to live next door to her Mum.
Now this little old lady was very friendly,
but at the same time kept to herself.
She had a few cats  ,
but otherwise lived alone.
One day Wendy discovered that she wrote Barbara Cartland
type novels, which are (apparently) quite "hot" and a tad "steamy".
We started dreaming a little then,
and Kev overheard us and asked what we were talking about.
I piped up with my idea, but despairing that I didn't write crude enough, although I thought they were steamy.
He challenged me, and asked me what my version of Steamy was.
I suggest he come and have a look,
but this wasn't good enough for Kev. He wanted an example.
He suggested I give him a couple of sentences off the top of my head of what I considered steamy or saucy.
Embarrassed at first, I just smiled, but he "egged" me on, saying it probably wasn't steamy at all.
So I went into a sentence about
"As she licked her finger and traced it down his torso, she followed closely with her tongue. Teasing his bellybutton
as she headed down towards his throbbing ....."
That's where I left it, that's my dilemma with this stuff.
I don't know what to call his ....
well his .....
You know what I am talking about! lol.
Kev laughed and I think he was a little satisfied,
however does still want me to print one or two out for his judgement!!!
As we reached the crossing, where our paths would depart, Wendy agreed that our language and the way it has changed over the years does make a difference to our story telling and reading.
She went on to explain how she'd started reading
The Magic Faraway Tree to her youngest at night (Master 6 & Master 7).
Explaining that two of the key characters are DICK & FANNY.
Which instantly had me in laughter.
You see it's obvious why DICK would bring a giggle to a child's face,
but maybe not so FANNY.
You see here in Australia,
a FANNY is often the slang for Vagina...
or girls you know what's it.
Wendy explained when she started reading the book,
everytime she mentioned their names the boys
would look at each other and giggle hysterically.
She said they've gotten over that lately,
but to start with it was a real trial for her.
I laughed at this, as they crossed and we went straight.
"See you later," I called.
"I'm going home to read The Magic Faraway tree."
Easy (reading Enid Blyton) Out 
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Posted by EasyToSay on 2008-07-17 08:51:33 | Rating: | Views: 147
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I actually posted a blog saying I was thinking about writing an instruction manual for woman who have never had an orgasm....Kind of felt bad because a comment left to me was by a 15-year-old...didn't realize the whole age thing on here...
Just a suggestion for what to call it..my husband likes "big cock," but really hates when I call him a dick!!!
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Posted by slowtolearn
on 2008-07-17 09:41:00
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Lol... Yes I think they all like the "C" word for both anatomies..(sp)
I just can't bring myself to use the female version of... nor the "P" version of the female version...
so I can use cock or penis
but not c or p for the female!
Arrrgghhh
Better flag this myself! lol
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-07-17 09:46:48
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Ummm... manhood? lol
We were banned from reading Enid Blyton at school... not for the reasons above, but because she used the word 'said' too freely... it encouraged poor grammar, apparently.
Clearly they'd not properly read the books themselves or they'd have realised that using 'said' too much was the least of their worries!!
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Posted by tantrictouch
on 2008-07-17 10:05:29
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Really? It's a childs book and that's what they named the characters?? Crazy!
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Posted by KarKar
on 2008-07-17 10:38:38
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lol E2S I understand your delimma....I couldn't say penis infront of a doctor one day...I got flustered and started stuttering.....I mean hell I see so many so many times a day they don't freakin phase me anymore...lol... what about member????
Ohhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have news for you!!! I jumped up and down when I saw the commercial last night. They're bringin an ozzie show to the states....I can't remember the name of it now....dammit...something with Cathy in it?!?! Oh hell..... lemme think on it & then I"ll tell ya!!!
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Posted by Mamacita925
on 2008-07-17 10:56:12
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mamacita - kath and kim?? if so...watch it!!! :-) xxx
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Posted by geordiedreamer
on 2008-07-17 11:09:53
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It is kath & kim! And I'm really excited for it. It looks fantastic [there I go being easily amused again. lol].
Easy- I can't stand the c or p words for women either. A friend of mine always says C U Next Tuesday as a euphamism. But I live surrounded my so many males that I'm used to the words...just can't say them myself. My daughter and I jokingly use 'va jay jay'. But that's not very steamy...hahaha. I think cock or prick is definately my favorite for mens anatomy though. They just sound manly. =]
As for female anantomy...pick up some of those steamy romance novels and see what they use. My brother in law laughingly calls them "porn for housewives" and asks me to send my sister more of them!
And this does remind me of the time our son was an eigth grader and for english he had to come up with three opening lines of stories or novels that hooked the reader immediately. Of course we went to the bookshelves and hit up the stephen kings. We had two good lines when my husband said "how about...'I never thought this would happen to me'?" I asked what book that was from and he said "It's how all the letters in penthouse letters start out..." we rolled on the floor with laughter.
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Posted by princess__spot
on 2008-07-17 11:48:08
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seeeeeeee I knew it had Kath in it!!!! lol yep that's it I'm soooo freakin excited
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Posted by Mamacita925
on 2008-07-17 16:19:55
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When were these books published? language has evolved to "deflower" (romance novel term)a lot of previously innocent words. A lot of old books are hilarious with antique terminology. Joke often told by my late grandmother, born in 189?-
A woman riding a horse falls off, her skirts over her head. A young man rushes to help, and she flips the skirts down. She is relieved to cover herself quickly, and asks him, "did you notice my promptness?" he says, "I sure did, but I didn't know that's what is is called" so, whatever you call it...
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Posted by circe
on 2008-07-17 20:21:37
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I actually read Enid Blyton stories when I was a kid. And I never knew Fanny was for, well you know.
I gotta admit, what was she thinking?!
Honestly, the stories are lame.I never really liked it, it's just so to keep me occupied.
And yes, it's poor grammar, but easy to understand.
Now, I think it sucks.
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Posted by Haylo
on 2008-07-18 00:29:08
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I think if you want to be published, you probably have to use the street terms for penis and vagina. C, and C/P, respectively.
Think of who your audience would be. Mainly men I assume. So ask men for their opinion on this...but I'm still willing to bet C & C are the favorites!
Good luck with that.
:P
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Posted by Cecy24
on 2008-07-18 12:20:04
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