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Okay, I've been siting on this thought for awhile and now that I know the door is closed I wanted to release it from my head.
Remember HWG? The guy I feel for during a three week fling? Could've been more? Might not have been. I'll never know. If he hadn't gone overseas with his ex, who knows.
For those who haven't read my blogs, since he's got back he's texted me and called me (at very odd hours) when he's been out drinking with Mates. He's bought me a coffee, and promised another if I could guess the artist and song title based on provided lyrics. He's lent me books and DVD's.
You may even recall he called me from Edinburgh after he was "Back with her" because he was out drinking and was thinking of ME!
He confessed in one intoxicated phone call that he would definitely be with me if he wasn't back with "her". He gave me the impression that he wasn't that happy and he was giving it six months and then if it wasn't better that was it. Actually he didn't give me the impression, he told me that would be the case. Crazy huh?
Now I must confess I really really liked this guy, he was different to FOTY, he was a gentleman. He was the type of guy that puts the lady first... always. Not only that but we actually had heaps in common, he is a computer nerd (don't shake your head he says that himself) - I'm a gadget girl (he labelled me that), he loves reading, he loves DVD's and he loves enjoying life... he's just a genuine guy .. or so I thought.
No that's not fair I'm sure he is a genuine guy, so why then did he "ditch" me for the person who ditched him six months earlier?? No, don't go answering that - there's no point!
Anyway the reason for this blog is I have a really nice friend who let me know how things really are between him and his ex.
She told me they appeared to be a very "happy" couple - unlike what he'd led me to believe.
This friend knows of the little games we've been playing with emailing, texting, Im'ing and poking on Facebook. And she wanted me to know she thought I was getting played, and he was keeping his options open.
**BootLady - looks like you were right on the money!
I said up front I like being friends with him, and had no intention of taking it further - especially while he was with his partner - The Other Woman - I am NOT (no offense intended)
But my friend asked me how I would feel if I was his girlfriend, and knew about the little things we were doing .... AS FRIENDS. It was then that I realised I was doing exactly what JS did with FOTY - so after I post this blog I am going to stop!
What I wonder is, is it possible to have a "platonic" relationship with a person you've slept with? a person you've cared about? a person who you had a relationship with - a short but good relationship with, which did not end badly, but just ended. Is it possible or even okay to try to do this?
I know I find myself thinking about him every now and again - but I know that is all it is ... thoughts.
And I know that my relationship with him was a really bright memory which often distracted me from the shitty year I've had with FOTY.
I'm not sure yet, I'll let you know.
Sorry didn't mean this to be a huge post - just wanted to let it out of my heart and head. |
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Posted by EasyToSay on 2008-03-26 04:50:08 | Rating: | Views: 139
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Can a man that loved you and slept w/ you be your friend? Is that the question on the table?
Answer is....depends
If the guy still wants it and the woman doesn't...she just wants to be friends...does not work. The man will at best see himself is "The bullpen"(if you do not know what I mean, it is a baseball term). He will wait for a bit till the man you are currently seeing messes up or you just change your mind.
Not a friend, just a guy on ice
If the man wants to be friends and the woman wants it as more I guess it might work. Never had that so.....
If you both just want to be friends, then it will work
One more lil point here....this friend says they appear happy, HWG & his gf, right?
Re read that sentence....the LOOK happy
Got the point?
Looks are not always reality
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Posted by whiteknight
on 2008-03-26 07:21:55
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Easy the only thing that I can say is that you are both consenting adults and if you both lay down the boundries and don't over step them, then you can be friends with whom ever.
I have a few old friends that once was more but due to circumstances and timing things never got of the ground, however we valued our friendship more to stop seeing each other.
I think that can happen with you and HWG if you just say what you will put up with and what you wont.
Good luck
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Posted by KP
on 2008-03-26 07:41:03
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I have learned that you can be friends after time has passed and that as long as you are not both attracted to each other at the same time, things will work. Time is really important with this.
With my current relationship, we tried being friends when we broke up and ended sleeping together and becoming a couple again. I would say keep your distance for a while, I would not want to be the other woman. In situations like this, I know if I were the girlfriend I would want to know what my boyfriend was up to.
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Posted by prelude2it
on 2008-03-26 10:54:07
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Let me know how it goes. I am currently friends with an ex and, while I am attempting to move on, I still have feelings for him that go beyond friendship. Not sure it will work. I think as long as you are not fooling yourself into thinking it is just friendship but you really want more than that, it might work. Good luck!
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Posted by Meredith
on 2008-03-27 11:38:06
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Walk away. There is so much more for you in the world that is new and exciting. Don't look back. All relationships end, celebrate this fact.
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Posted by penumbra88
on 2008-03-27 16:03:17
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I am friends with an ex, two actually. We rarely see each other, but communicate by email about our comings and goings. As long as both are sure and clear that there will never be a future together, it can work.
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Posted by Ellie2008
on 2008-03-27 17:03:59
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