I was doing my usual browsing on the dating site in my half hearted effort. I'm not really counting on finding my dream guy there - my experience tells me I will bump into him.
I can see it now, I'll be in Full on MUM mode, with my pink work out t-shirt hanging on my shoulders, trakkies sagging around my butt and my hair will be swept up. I'll have no make up on - and we will BUMP into each other.
At first I'll be annoyed that he wasn't looking. Then I'll take a second to look into his eyes - which of course will be smiling back at me in affectionate amusement.
Yes I am expecting some sort of affection up front.
Then we'll stand staring at each other, he'll notice no ring, I'll notice him noticing. And I'll blurt out my life story for the past 2 years of my life.
He'll tell me he understands - I'll believe him!  Then we'll go have coffee and the rest will be history!  My hang ups about this all not working for my new family life gone! Yerr right.
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Not what happened! *snap* out of fantasy land to give you the latest.
I was browsing aimlessly, got a few contact requests, and accepted some, declined a couple from 20 year olds, declined a smoker, declined a guy who looked like he was so much older than he said he was! About to log off when I get one of my existing contacts - who I had not spoken to yet start a chat with me.
"Hi," he says.
"Hi, how are you?" I reply scrambling to look at his profile and figure out why I accepted his contact request. Meanwhile he's complimenting me on my manners and saying he appreciates that, blah blah blah. Then his profile hits me ...... 36 years old, attached!
"Ah excuse me," I say continuing my politeness, "Are you married?"
"Yes I am, What is your status?"
"Divorced," I type nearly breaking a nail. I almost added "From a CHEATING Husband," but decide to investigate further, before being presumptious.
"I hope that doesn't matter?" he responds.
Well first reaction is "Of course it bloody matters," but I compose myself and reply
"Are you looking to start an affair?" I ask him.
"Ahh yes," he types back.
"Well actually my ex-husband cheated on me, and it hurt me a lot, so to be honest with you there is no way I would inflict that on another lady."
He thanks me for my honesty, but continues to chat, asks me how I've gone so far on the site, I laugh to myself, but tell him, I'm a little fussy. I ask him how he's gone, and he says "same".
Same? I ask. He's fussy too - he's encountered weird, sleazy, dumb you name it - it appears they come in both genders - who would've thought!
He asks me to let him explain. He's been married for 10 years, his wife is the love of his life, his best friend, but there are some things she wont do for him. And yes, he's tried discussing with her. He doesn't want to lose his wife, but he has needs that she won't meet.
"I am a twice a day guy, if you know what I mean," he says, causing me to blush slightly.
"I'm tired of Mrs Palmer and her 5 kids, I need more." He continues.
"I get missionary position twice a week, and that's it" he confesses. He actually goes a bit graphic here in that he explains what she will let him do, and what she won't let him do. I explain that I don't need to know that detail. Then suggest maybe he needs to work more into getting her in the mood. Make her feel beautiful.
Suddenly I'm Dr Feelgood.
Funnily enough I feel like I'm helping the brother I never had - or don't siblings discuss this??
He seems like a generally nice guy, a bit open and honest, but hey so am I! BUT he wants to cheat on his wife!
Somehow we get onto Brazillians, he tells me he's tried to get her to do that - but she refuses - but he loves them! - TMI! He loves oral sex - - TMI!
He assures me he doesn't want to leave or lose his wife.
"Don't you realise you are doing irreversible damage if she finds out?" I ask bluntly
Now this is where I think he is dumb or naive, he replies "That is why it has to be discrete."
I ask him if he is worried that he could potentially meet a "GLENN CLOSE" from "FATAL ATTRACTION" - and continue with "does your daughter have a rabbit"
He replies - "lol, no bunny in the house."
Now I maybe wrong here, but women get attached don't they? I mean there is some scientific proof that once we have sex a hormone or chemical is released in our brain that makes us feel a little ownership - and I suggest that to him. He says I just want fun times, and to fill the void that my wife won't.
I am clear and tell him I DEFINITELY wont be crossing the line with him.
"Which line is that?" he asks
"The cheating on a spouse, the affair line."
He asks me what if it was a WIDE line.... "NOPE" I reply.
Anyway to cut a longer chat short - he tells me that he thinks I am a really nice person, and blah blah about my photo. Then asks if I drink.
"Huh? Yes I do when I go out, not in front of my kids though," Yes we'd asked the do you have kids question.
"Would you come out for a boozy night with me?" He asks.
As I'm contemplating my response - which will be no, he says
"I'll make you breakfast."
"AH NO!" I say adding a frown face.
"Bugger," he responds.
I wish him luck as he again asks if I'll reconsider. He tells me I am the most desirable person he's met on this site. I again wish him luck and log off.
This chat has me pondering questions - I don't think it is okay to cheat anytime.
But if your partner is not fulfilling you - is it okay to seek out a sex-partner?
Is it okay to have an affair?
My response to that is NO, but maybe I am just old fashioned???
Maybe I need to get up with the times!!!
Maybe NOT - if that is what it takes to be trendy - call me a dag!
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