I took the chance, and when I do things, I do them in a BIG way! I didn't just contact my long departed Auntie, I also sent a face book request to her daughter and her son, my cousins.
Surprisingly my Auntie accepted my friend request that evening.
Also not surprisingly I received her daughter, my 19 year old cousins request the next day. But with a twist.
Her acceptance came with a "comment" on how we knew each other ... and it went something like this ... actually I'll post the exact post in so you can interpret it for yourself ..
"You met randomly in 2008: After not seeing, talking or in any way contacting my mother, for 23 years (i think it is this year) XXXX (my name) randomly messaged me asking to be my friend.
You Facebook messaged each other randomly. "
Well I took a bit of offense to this, reading into it and becoming protective of my Parents.
So I replied telling her that if she didn't want to be my friend and she'd prefer me not to contact her then I would not be offended . . . but life was too short for smart remarks.
She came right back at me, telling me she wasn't being smart, and that if I wanted a dumb cousin who pretended not to know anything then I'd picked the wrong one to contact!!
I smiled at this remark, and thought how much she reminded me of my sister - not backwards and coming forwards.!
Anyway I replied a few more times and I feel the ice is cracking a little bit.
I didn't hear from my male cousin - but then again he's a boy - so maybe he couldn't care.
Then My Auntie sent me a message and said she was glad I"d contacted her - but why after all these years would I do that.
I let her know that I in no way wanted to cause trouble, and that I had thought about her and my cousins all these years. You see when my Auntie had her first baby - my male cousin, I was the only relative on my side that she let come and see this beautiful new baby boy. My Mum was devastated that she wasn't allowed to come and see him - My mum loves babies & kids. I remember going and not really understanding the significance of it all - and then getting 20 questions after I got home.
I suggested that the past stay where it is - and that I believed there was 2 sides to every story - but I didn't want to hear any of it now. I also said my Parents would be really hurt and upset if they thought I was corresponding with her.
Her reply was that she would be more than happy to never have anything to do with my parents, but she was very happy to be my friend.
My girl cousin sent me another snappy email - but I'll save that for another post.
I just noticed my Auntie has updated her profile in FB - and her status now says - She is a BIG Winner ... I hope she's talking about the pokies and not about winning something over my mum. Their hurt is very very deep and will never repair. The chance for their lives to be part of each others died when my grand-mother died. I respect that. I am also very wary that it would hurt my parents, and they have done so much for me with the break down of my marriage - so I will forfeit all to remain loyal to them.
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