Disable Language Filter
I just want somebody to get me
Random Rant 


I don't get why it seems nobody can get me. 
It's as if my brain works different then everyone else's. 
I use to like that about myself. 
Recently however it has left me feeling alone, and friendless. 
I'm not to good at explaining how I'm feeling about stuff these days. 
I gave up writing.. it feels like forever ago. 
I don't know what I'm good at anymore. 
It feels like I've not even started my life and  I've already wasted it. 
Why can't anyone get me? 
Why does it feel like the ones who do.. or use to.. aren't as good at it?
I need a best friend... who's not my boyfriend. 
I need someone to understand. 
Someone who will actually take time to know me and grow with me. 
I miss who i use to talk to. 
and oddly i reallly miss my dog. 
This lonely feeling seems like it doesn't exist when my boyfriend is around. 
He's amazing. 
He's my whole life. 
That fact makes me feel bad sometimes. 
God should be my life. 
I struggle with that. 
It bothers me. 
I think about it everyday. 
Probably just as much as i think about sex. 
On and off all day i wonder if i should. 
He's my whole life. 
I want him to know that. 
I want him to get how much i love him. 
I want to make love to him. 
But i'm to scared of what will happen if we do. 
When he's not here.... 
the lonely feeling gets so bad that i actually miss my family. 
Then all those feelings start rising up all over again. 
I still feel guilty for leaving. 


Randomly... 
I feel... 
regret.... when last year i didn't even believe in regret. 
guilty
lonely
stupid
fat
confused
loved
wanted
slutty
lost
abandoned
All at once 
It sucks



Gah!
What am I suppose to do?

 
Posted by Dreamer86 on 2008-05-08 22:51:58 | Rating: n/a | Views: 86


Comments


Posted by
tonyrayhutchison
on 2008-05-08 22:55:13
 
so sad, so much pain, so alone.

http://www.thoughts.com/tonyrayhutchison/blog/we-al l-feel-it-36253/


this is an old post I wrote, you're not so alone in the way you feel
 
 

Posted by
tonyrayhutchison
on 2008-05-08 22:58:33
 
http://www.thoughts.com/tonyrayhutchison/blog/we-all-fe el-it-36253/
 
 

Posted by
roe
on 2008-05-09 00:21:17
 
you were right about God, he should be the center of everything and if you make your boyfriend your whole life, you will regret it someday. You need to make a life for yourself and then you will add to his life and vice versa. I think you are just going through a period where you are questioning your values and trying to figure out who you are..thats so normal. Dont be so hard on yourself, go outside and get some fresh air and laugh a little. I get you, and another thing, never ever give up writing...ok, promise!
 
 

Posted by
barefootbliss
on 2008-05-09 00:57:44
 
hey...i just wanted to say that i was nodding my head as i read your post...not out of rudeness but out of familiarity. Satan loves to tell you how alone you are but take comfort in the knowledge that we all go through similar battles. I have been learning through the past year something that may help you/ I began to 'not know myself' about a year ago...could not undersatnd what was going on and why I did not even know how to explain my feelings. but i have spoken iwht the Lord a lot about it and it has boiled down to my identity now resting in my fiance. it isnt his fault but mine for putting too much emphasis on what HE thinks and not what the LoRD thinks. when i began to shift my focus onto Christ I began to see who I was in Him and who He made me and not what others saw me as. This rbough my old self back for I could be confident in who I was in Christ. It allowed me to take back my feelings and take back the lies the enemy had been feeding me that i was only as good as others said i was each day. be comforted and know that you will conquer this questioning time and come out extremely confident in the woman you have been created to be.
oh and listen to roe :) shes great!
 
 

Posted by
truth_is_a_whisper
on 2008-05-09 11:49:46
 
let God be your life... but also remember that you are HUMAN and that God has put us here to LIVE and EXPERIENCE as HUMANS do. it isn't Satan that's telling you you're alone. it's you. the more you grow as a person and come to terms with who you are inside, you'll stop feeding yourself such malevolence.
 
 

Posted by
DouglasMB
on 2008-06-27 11:54:00
 
I understand the alone feeling... but it is so strange how so many of us feel alone while surounded by people. Maybe it's not people we need to be looking for?
 
 


Add Comment




Navigation
Login | Sign Up


Dreamer86
lalaland, United Kingdom

Latest Posts
1.  i know what i want .. him! (2008-06-19 15:22:35)  
2.  Writing??? (2008-06-18 14:28:23)  
3.  Starting to Snap out of It (2008-05-19 21:33:05)  
4.  Gah! (2008-05-16 19:33:34)  
5.  hmm.. (2008-05-09 11:17:50)  

Blog Categories
Nothing found

Blog Archive
1.  June 2008 (2)  
2.  May 2008 (4)  

Comment Archive
1.  May 2008 (3)  


Author's Links
No Links Found

Quick Links
Dreamer86's Photos
Dreamer86's Podcasts
Dreamer86's Videos
Dreamer86's Surveys
Average Rating
No Ratings

 
 

page load time: 0.38105797767639